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THIS IS WE
Brittney's Rise: Harnessing Main Character Energy for a Life of Resilience and Authenticity
As your host, Portia Chambers, I've had the privilege of walking alongside the indomitable Brittney Megann, the visionary behind Social and Stilettos, as she recounts her ascent from a creative hairdresser to an entrepreneurial force in the wake of a devastating car accident. Our latest episode paints a vivid tapestry of change and resilience, where we delve into the very fabric of what it means to be women in transformation. We're not just trading stories; we're laying bare the raw truths of reinvention, the driving force behind our ambitions, and the treasure trove of lessons unearthed from the rubble of life's unexpected earthquakes.
Brittney's journey, mirroring the trials and triumphs of so many, is a beacon for anyone grasping for their "main character energy." We navigate the waves of self-discovery, from my leap of faith leaving waitressing behind to Brittney’s resolve to redefine her purpose post-accident. Throughout, we uncover the art of sustaining hobbies that anchor us outside of our professional personas, steering through setbacks, and the sheer growth that sprouts from such fertile ground. Each tale we share serves as a reminder: adversity isn't just a hurdle; it's the starting block for a life more authentic and bold.
Our heart-to-heart extends beyond success into the realm of authentic relationships and the elation of weaving ties with kindred spirits. Brittney and I invite you to explore the power of affirmations, the deceptive "highlight reel" of social media, and the odyssey of preserving the evolved you amidst the expectations of bygone acquaintances. This dialogue is an anthem for anyone ready to claim their space, pursue uncharted paths, and discover a tribe that celebrates every facet of their true self. Tune in and let this transformative exchange embolden you to live unapologetically and with conviction.
Connect with Brittney @socialsandstilettos & @brittneymegann
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Join me, portia Chambers, as I sit down with women just like you, sharing moments in their lives that shaped them into who they are today Stories of motherhood, betrayal, transformation, love and loss, vulnerable conversations, deep connection and collective healing. Welcome to the this Is we podcast. I am so excited to have our next guest here with us. Brittany Megan, aka your number one hype girl, is the CEO and head socialista at Social and Stilettos. With a passion for helping women own their power, brittany is on the mission to help ambitious women step into their main character, energy and build an iconic brand, one stiletto at a time.
Speaker 2:Welcome. Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1:Parsha, I'm so excited to be here with you.
Speaker 2:My pleasure, I have to say I love your bio just because it is so on brand. Thank you so much and I feel like for me, I like iconic is like a word I'm never going to get tired of. I feel like we could hear it all the time and I'm like iconic.
Speaker 1:It just like gives you like a feeling. Know what I mean it does. It really does. I love it. All right, so let's just dive in and um share your story with us. I know a little bit about it, so I'm very curious um to hear more about it.
Speaker 2:So ready, when you are for sure for sure, and I'm so excited to chat about this. I feel like I want to start by saying I think like when we see a lot of ambitious women in the space, that it's so easy to get like caught up in their highlight reel that we forget like everybody truly has a story, and that's why I love sharing mine so much, because I think that it really can be a place for people to see, like no matter what you've gone through, you really can come through and come out of it. So I'm going to take you back a little bit with me to, I want to say, like about seven years ago I was a full time hairdresser and doing hair at Toronto Fashion Week and I really thought like I had it all figured out and I was living my best life and this is where I was going to be for forever. And you know that feeling when you're kind of in a job and you're like I really can't ever see myself doing something else, but at the same time, like you're, you love what you do, but you part of you is like I don't know if I can see myself like being older doing this. So it's almost like this internal kind of feeling where you think like I can see myself like being older doing this. So it's almost like this internal kind of feeling where you think, like I can see it happen now. I love it, I feel it, but like I can't picture myself being like 40 and being a hairstylist still. So, anyways, back to the story is I really loved what I was doing. I thought I had it all figured out. I had these big plans. I wanted to open my own salon one day and you know my boyfriend at the time now my husband and I were chatting about moving in and getting our first apartment together and we had started saving and all that fun stuff.
Speaker 2:And one day I was actually driving home from work. I had picked my sister-in-law up from school and was on my way home and got into a really bad car accident. It was, you know, somebody carelessly on their phone while they were driving and my car was stopped and they ended up going a hundred kilometers into the back of my stopped car. And anybody I feel like I feel like a lot of listeners are from like the York region area. So Young and Wellington it's a really bad, busy intersection and for me it was like I drove that way every single day.
Speaker 2:But I knew when I woke up in the morning I'm such a woo-woo person, so I'm going to get woo-woo for a second. I had this feeling like something's different today. Something's going to change today. I don't know what it is, I don't know what it is, I don't know what's going to happen. But I had that internal kind of feeling.
Speaker 2:And, sure enough, when this happened, I don't really remember anything other than waking up in the hospital and not really sure where I was. So at that moment I was like what the heck just happened? Like where am I? What's going on? I could feel, like my lower back, like something was going on and I wasn't really 100% too sure and I wasn't getting any answers and my family and friends were there. So it was kind of like you're in that moment and you're on this adrenaline rush and you can't really process what's going on. So I ended up getting discharged from the hospital. You're in that moment and you're on this adrenaline rush and you can't really process what's going on. So I ended up getting discharged from the hospital and when my mom had brought me home, she tried to get me out of the car and I couldn't walk and I was like I don't know what's going on. I literally can't use my legs right now, and I started freaking out, got rushed back to the hospital. They did more scans and realized that the lower disc in my back was completely pushed out the side, hitting my sciatic nerve line. So that's why I couldn't really feel my legs and what was going on. And in that moment I remember kind of sitting there and the doctor saying to me like I just want to let you know, I don't know if you're ever going to work like a typical nine to five job again. We were talking about the fact that I was a hairdresser. And in that moment, like again, you kind of think you have it all figured out and I'm like, oh my gosh, there goes my whole life, like what am I doing now? So it was really kind of an interesting experience in that moment, because it was kind of like having a midlife crisis, but I wasn't even 20 yet. So you're kind of sitting there trying to figure it out Again. You think you had it figured out Now you don't. So where do you go from there? And fast forward a little bit.
Speaker 2:After this car accident I spent almost two full years going to physio anywhere between four to five times a week for six hours a day, doing different treatments and, you know, trying different things, just to see if I could like get back to a point where I could like walk without being in constant pain but also like just do everyday things, like I was seeing my best friends, like going out living the time of their lives, going on these vacations, like you know, when you're that age, I feel like all your friends are also like going out to bars, going doing all the fun stuff, and I'm like I literally can't do this, let alone like just typical, like taking care of yourself kind of things.
Speaker 2:So, like one of the lowest points there, remember, like I was, like I don't even think I can go to the bathroom by myself, and that's that's so crazy, right?
Speaker 2:So those kind of everyday things that you're so used to doing that you don't really realize until you're in that situation that it's like it's such an honor that we get to do those things every single day, right?
Speaker 2:So in that moment, on a lighter end, let's kind of lighten this up a little bit I'm sitting there and in these physio appointments I'm like I don't even know how I'm going to pay my phone bill, let alone like move out, start a life with my partner, be, you know, back to somewhat normal or find like a purpose again. That I was kind of sitting in physio when Dana thought to myself, like there's got to be a way that I can make money from my phone, like there's got to be a way Like I knew a lot of people in like direct sales and network marketing and I was like I tried it, but it's not really me Like I don't feel like fulfilled. I still love this beauty, fashion, lifestyle space so much. There's got to be something that I can do online. Back then I think a lot of people were also on like this blog run where everybody was like I'm a blogger.
Speaker 2:They started a blog that they were running with right. I feel like everyone listening is like I had that moment. It was either you're a blogger or a YouTuber, right?
Speaker 2:Like it was one of the two, and I came across a post about like being a social media manager and I was like, okay, like I mean, I used to post my work online all the time, like maybe it's something that I can learn. So I really started like tabling into what exactly a social media manager does, how to do it. Is it something you need a degree for? Can you learn it yourself All these different things? And slowly but surely kind of started to develop this skill set in trial and error with different things. Asked the salon that I used to work at hey, can I manage our Instagram page for a little bit Like just do something on the side while I'm still recovering and I really like just ran with it. And it was like in that moment, I think, honestly, portia, I was like I don't know what this is going to be, but I'm going to just try it and see if it's going to work or not.
Speaker 2:And it was actually like through that experience that I found my passion for like helping other women specifically find their purpose and be able to monetize it, because mine was taken from me Right. So it's kind of cool because, looking back now, I always say and think, like if I didn't get into a car accident, I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be like I think the most confident version of myself that I am now wouldn't be as humble as I am in certain areas too, but also like I wouldn't have the opportunity to kind of sit and inspire so many people or work with so many different types of female business owners that are, like, really passionate about what they do and have that kind of fire inside them the same way that I did when I was trying to find my purpose. So that's kind of my story and how I got started in what I do today and running a marketing agency.
Speaker 1:I still can't believe that you're a hairdresser.
Speaker 2:I know you would never know, looking at me because now I'm like, ah, it's okay, your hair is your hair, right?
Speaker 1:Hairdressing was probably one of my dream jobs when I was growing up, like I really wanted to be a hairdresser. And then I took a marketing course and I was like, oh, I think I like marketing better.
Speaker 2:Isn't it funny? And I feel like with hairdressing, like one of the things that pulled me to that industry to begin with was I was never somebody that could hold a job. I hated working for people. I wanted to. Like my dad was an entrepreneur, he ran his own renovations business and I always got to like see how he could make his own schedule and make his own money and it was like that control that I really like craved. I think that you wouldn't get in a typical like nine to five job. So it was funny because I think that that's what I wanted. It wasn't necessarily being a hairdresser. I ended up still getting that in a different way, but I think again like I needed to kind of follow that path. Right, yeah, a hundred percent.
Speaker 1:And I love how you brought up, like at the very beginning, how you were a hairdresser but you couldn't see yourself doing this, like when you were 40. And I had that same moment. So I was a waitress and I waitress for eight years and I loved that job, like I could have done that job my whole life. But it was that same inkling where I was like I can't do this when I'm 40. Like would anybody? Like I don't know, but it was that idea where I would look at my boss because the restaurant that I worked at was only run by women, right? So my two bosses were women. All the kitchen staff were women.
Speaker 1:The only man that worked there was our IT guy and he didn't even really work there. He's like a contractor, but that was like the only man that was like allowed behind the bar. And I think that's where my entrepreneurial kind of idea came from, cause I was like I'm watching these women do it. But it was never that like inkling, like that's what I'm, because after I left that job I didn't become an entrepreneur, like it took a little bit of time for me to get there. But I love how you kind of brought that point where you kind of knew deep down that this wasn't going to be my forever job, but really just didn't necessarily know where it was going to lead you.
Speaker 2:A hundred percent. And isn't it funny, like if you look back at, kind of all the different things that have happened in your life, or the jobs that you've had, or the businesses that you've started and failed, like cause I've been there, like this wasn't my first business I started Right. So it's funny when you kind of look back and you're like, oh crap, like that all actually needed to happen though, because I can see how those certain things that I learned in that experience like come into play with what I'm doing now. Right, yeah, a hundred percent.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I look at that, cause I've had a lot of jobs. I've had a lot of little and I worked for Costco, so a lot of people didn't know that I worked for Costco for nine months, but it taught me how to sell.
Speaker 1:I went in there and you start at the very low. So that's the person that takes your cart and empties your cart out and then refills it. That is your baseline level of starting. No one starts as a cashier like unless you move from another store. And I did that for like a month and I was like, yeah, I can't do this. Like this job is fun and the people are great and it's always different, but I can't do buggies. Like this is not. So I was like what can I do? What am I I good at? I started to sign up for everything. I did every role in that establishment. In nine months I sold credit cards and that is where I learned to sell and I love that and it was like the most interesting job. I wasn't something that I could keep forever, but it taught me so, so much and it was literally just like a stepping stone. So, so much and it was literally just like a stepping stone. It's a skill set. It's a skill set.
Speaker 1:And I kind of want to talk about that moment where you were in physio and you're thinking about like, what can I do from my phone? What gave you the drive? Because I feel like when sometimes we're put in those positions where your life has completely changed overnight. You, the career that you once thought you were going to have, you no longer are going to have, and you're kind of starting over. And sometimes that motivation isn't there because we like to dwell in like the woe is me, Like woe is me. This happened to me. My life is over. You know, look at me, I'm starting over again and, mind you, you were young, so it wasn't like right, You're like in your forties and starting over. But starting over regardless is hard, especially when you have an idea in your mind. So what motivated you to other than paying your bills?
Speaker 2:right.
Speaker 1:Cause, that's pure motivation itself. But what motivated you to kind of go out there and take a leap in something that was completely different?
Speaker 2:I love this question so much and I feel like there there is a saying and I remember reading it once and I will like never forget it, but it's a diamonds always formed under pressure. And I think that it applies so much to the situation because I think that there was like this internal feeling where, yeah, money was a big factor, but I think like money is also a surface level factor. Like whenever you ask somebody like why did you start a business, it's like oh, for money. But like, if you really dig deep, that's actually not why somebody does something right. So it was interesting because in that moment I think like I had gone my whole life being like bullied and told I wasn't able to do things. So I think that one of the biggest kind of like I'm going to prove everything wrong was this doctor telling me like number one, you're not going to be able to work a nine to five job again.
Speaker 2:But also like listening to certain just different people in my life, like I think that I grew up around a lot of family friends that had limiting mindsets, or even family members that had limiting mindsets. So I remember like my aunt at one point she had said you're probably better, like go apply for disability, like you'll be fine. People do that their whole life, like it's fine, and if you're somebody listening, that that's your scenario. I want to say there's nothing wrong with that, first and foremost because I have so many near and dear family members that are in that situation and they need to be in that situation and they deserve to be in that situation.
Speaker 2:But I think in that moment, like I didn't want people to tell me what to do with my life and I didn't want to feel like everybody around me was controlling the outcome of my life and I'm only like again, not even 20 years old. So it was kind of that feeling of, yes, I want to make money, but I want to just like prove everybody wrong and again, like be the person that is in the driver's seat of my own life yes, this happened to me, but it's not who I am and it was like proving everybody wrong. That was like my number one goal. Out of that, I love that.
Speaker 1:I want to talk a little bit about, maybe, grief, and not necessarily in the context of loss, but it is a loss. You kind of lost the life that you had thought, and so, yeah, I'm going to go ramble on about it, but I don't really have much to say.
Speaker 2:So let's talk about that. Yeah and it's funny you bring this up because I talk about it all the time Like you're kind of mourning this version of yourself, right, and things that you've been so used to. And I think that any time in life too, when you are like making a change whether it be you know you've maybe worked in a career and now you're building a family and it makes the most sense for you to be home with your babies You're grieving an old version of you, whether you're somebody who was in a situation like me and you know you. Really, again, it wasn't necessarily a choice, I was kind of forced into it I'm grieving this past version of me. I also think that it's funny because the people around you are grieving a version of you too, right, like my boyfriend at the time, now husband I don't know what to call him anymore. How do you say that when you're in this stage of it being so new? But anyways, jake, at the time he was, I think, in his own way, grieving this version of me that he had known for so long. And now I'm trying to be somebody else or trying to figure out who I am or who this next version of Brittany is.
Speaker 2:So I think it's hard because you know, in this moment of grieving you kind of have to like be okay with not fully knowing where you're going to end up, but trusting yourself enough and being so connected and like what you want out of life and what your goals are. And for me, it was like my daily Pinterest pinning and making sure I'm pinning things that mean something to me so that I always remember who I am at the core, because just your career doesn't define you, who you are. Like you are your own person and I think it comes into like main character energy too, like again, like remembering that you are the person. You are the main character of your life. Your job doesn't define that. It's, you know, one of those little. If you think of yourself as a mind map, like you are the center and there's all these different branches of parts of you or things that you do, but it doesn't necessarily define you as who you are. Does that answer the question?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it does answer the question, and I love how you brought up the um, the point that your career doesn't define you, because I this is a huge thing at all of our events and pretty much everything that we do is we take that off the table. So we just did a dinner this week and, like I'm everyone makes fun of me Cause I'm like, I'm very a but not a at the same time. But I'm like all my events have two rules. The first rule is no cell phones. You're more than welcome to take photos and videos of the experience, but I encourage you to post later.
Speaker 1:Immerse yourself in the experience. That's why you're here, that's why you bought the ticket, that's why you want to be here is to immerse yourself. Phones are distracting. Give yourself the three hours or however long, to just be here. That's always rule number one.
Speaker 1:Rule number two is you're not allowed to talk about work or your family, because we easily use those as defining factors in our life and forget to talk about ourselves, because we talk about our job and we talk about our partners or our pets or children or whoever it may be, and so those are limited. And I remember when we did the I do it every time and the look on people's faces are like damn it, Like what am I going to talk about? And so then the next thing comes out of my breath is like we curate the conversation. Don't worry, we will give you something to talk about, but it it is the hardest thing to separate yourself from these defining factors that we live up to, and it's very interesting when you do take yourself out of the equation and really hone in and only focus on yourself and the things that you learn along the way. So I'm so happy that you brought that up, because I think it's so important.
Speaker 2:Uh, along the way. So I'm so happy that you brought that up, cause I think it's so important, it's so true, and I love, I love that you do that. Number one. I think that makes for like the best experience, but it also is like scary, right.
Speaker 2:Like I think it can be so scary to have to sit with yourself and be like, okay, but who am I outside of these things? And I think it's so important, like anybody that is kind of like just stepping into motherhood or they're just, you know, stepping into this new role that they're really passionate about. Like I know I went through, like a majority of you know, my journey with socials and stilettos was like that's who I am, to the point that it's like you forget to nurture like your personal friendships or like things that matter to you as a person. It's funny because I think that it's really easy to get caught up in like the routine of being so passionate or like loving something so much that it kind of consumes you as a person, versus it being just something that again is a part of you.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, and that's why I say like to anybody. And this was like a huge moment for me where I was never. I never had a job that defined me. It was always just a part Like it was never Portia was this like. Cause I've had so many jobs that I just feel like there was never nothing really stuck like, stuck on or whatever.
Speaker 1:But when I started my social media agency, I took on that full role and immersed myself and I'm like this is portion now and I was shocked. It was like two years, two and a half years of doing it and I was forced to kind of step back in a way for a variety of different reasons, and I was shocked that I allowed myself to do that. And it took a while, like it wasn't like a light switch and I was like oh, I'm back to Portia, not defined by her job, like it was like literally, like it was like taking so many steps back but at the same time, taking so many steps forward, and it was so interesting to then how to take myself out of that position or that mindset and put myself in another one. And the biggest thing that I did this is where I was going with it is. I got a hobby?
Speaker 1:Yes, because before my jobs were my hobbies and then this job was my job and I never had that in my life and I just could not wrap my head around it and I had to find hobbies and find interests that I enjoyed and that was interesting too. That was a fun adventure, but I really needed something outside of it that I could obsess over or be just as passionate about if, if, not even more than my actual job. Because you know and I applaud you for still having your social media business because, like, social media is so hard in all aspects not just pushing out content or doing things like being on your phone, being connected, like it was hard for me and that's where I learned like, okay, I think this is where this was a stepping stone, this wasn't end all. Like, this isn't where I was ending, this was just a stepping stone to take me to the next step. And but yeah, it's interesting how we do need to have other things outside of our jobs that we can love and nurture at the same capacity.
Speaker 2:I love that and I feel like I kind of have a question to throw back on you now, which is when you were kind of in that space, what was your, I guess, like process to rediscovering your hobbies? I love asking people this like where do you start? I feel like so many people ask that what was the first?
Speaker 1:thing I started with. I can't remember what the first thing was. So my theory was I didn't want to go into something that costs me a lot of money and didn't take up a lot of my time, and then I didn't have to learn because I felt like at that point I was so burnt out mentally that I couldn't take on something that I had to physically learn. So, like crocheting, sewing, I couldn't do that because I actually physically had to, like use my brain and learn something. So I needed something that came easy to me, that still allowed me to use my brain, that didn't take up a lot of time, that I didn't have to learn. So I went puzzling was the first thing and I ended up buying a puzzle for my family for Christmas as a family gift, thought it'd be great for us, um, but I ended up just doing it all and halfway through it I was like I love this. I can disconnect, I can use my hands, I use my brain, I can listen to music, I can sit in silence, I could put on a podcast Like there's so many varieties to it and accomplish something at the end of the day. So you can see your progression every single time you sit down, whether you put like a piece together or like 50 pieces together, and that was kind of my stepping stone. So I found my passion easily, like quickly, like my hobby quickly.
Speaker 1:I think it started with meditating. Like meditating was something that allowed me to sit with myself and really understand what I wanted and what I didn't want, and what I had the capacity for and what I necessarily didn't have the capacity for. And so that's where I kind of realized like I didn't have the capacity to learn how to crochet. As cool as that looked, I just couldn't do it. But I think, like, go into it and and see what other people are doing, or ask them, or go back to what you loved as a kid. Like if you love coloring as a kid, then go get those adult coloring books or go get kid coloring books and a pack of crayons. Like it doesn't have to be overly complicated or have like an end goal in in the sense of it. So like, so like. To me, yeah, like I probably would have leaned towards coloring if it wasn't because I loved coloring as a kid and I just stumbled upon um puzzles and I just I love them and they're just like my oasis.
Speaker 2:I love that so much and I think that it's so funny because I always say, too, like you need like three different kinds of hobbies one for your mind, one for your body and one for your creative, like, creative, creative side. But you know what I mean. Like, cause I think when you have those three cups constantly being filled, like you always feel like you're, you just are, you have a full cup, like really. So meditation was something for me, it was the same thing, like that really allowed me to kind of figure out where I wanted to go and be, which I think is so cool. And the coloring books too, if you're somebody like me and the F words your favorite word they have like the swear word coloring books. So like you have to see those because, like they're game changing, they're so much fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they would be fun. And now, like my hobby is now is like it's transition, so I still puzzle, but it's not like my full obsession right now. I'm like really into reading romance novels. Like I like escaping in that way, because I was a huge, I used to be a huge TV watcher. I would have watched. We canceled Netflix because I watched almost everything. Like I literally was a huge binger and loved it, but I knew it wasn't great for me and so I got into reading, I stumbled upon it and my daughter's a big reader and so I could escape in the same way as watching a show in a book and I really enjoyed that and so like that's kind of I don't even know if that's considered a hobby, but like I'm considering it a hobby A hundred percent, Like it is a hobby.
Speaker 1:Now I would love to go back a little bit and you talked about failure and I feel like this is something that is not discussed. Like you said, the very beginning of the conversation is that we very much see the highlight reel of people's lives. We're not often talking about the things that didn't work out. You know the events that didn't happen because there wasn't enough people, or the businesses that ultimately just failed for a variety of different reasons. So I would love for you to just talk about doesn't necessarily have to be the failures itself, but just kind of moving through them from like start to finish.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love this so much and I think that when it comes to failure, it's so hard when you're super passionate about something, to not feel like you're the failure. And maybe, like this one thing wasn't the failure but it was like you and you're the reason it failed. And I think that that's something like I've always really struggled with, especially like and I think it comes from like even, I guess like just different things that I guess you've shaped the way that you think when you're a child and I'm trying to put my finger on the word but just like past experiences you've had when you're a child. So, if you're somebody who, again, like with me, I was bullied a lot, so I feel like I was always kind of like running with, what can I do to like, make somebody like me or make this work right? And it was something I had to work through a lot when I first started Socials and Stilettos because, like you can bring these things that I guess shape the way that you were as a child into your adult life and it can really affect the way that you operate right. So it's interesting because I think, with the whole failure piece, like when you get into that, reddit really brings up a very similar feeling, if you are somebody that's kind of moved through that when you're younger, to feel like again like it was you that was a problem and not the thing.
Speaker 2:And I think that again like being rooted in the fact that what you're doing is not who you are and things fail all the time. I mean, if you ever watch Shark Tank I'm such a Shark Tank person, so you see all the time where they look at these people and they have these great ideas that they're so passionate about it, they're fully submersed in this thing and it's not working, but they're like holding onto it so hard because they're like I've put so much time, I put so much money, like I can't let this go because then I failed and then what? And I think that a lot of the times we end up doing more damage by holding onto something that's not working for us than if we were to have just let it go and been okay with it and moved through again those emotions and feeling like a little bit of grief about it, a little bit of loss, like because you really are losing something that at one point again we identify as, or we kind of put this thing as part of who we are. Um, so for me, it really is kind of it has been about just trying to find ways to separate myself out of everything that I'm doing. And you know, again, I didn't fail being a hairdresser, like you know.
Speaker 2:Now, looking back, I think the more that you, the more that you fail and the more that you realize like, oh, wait a second, like I needed that to happen to get here, the more that you're kind of able to be okay with accepting when things fail in the future and kind of seeing it from a standpoint of wait a second, like what am I going to learn out of this? And now I feel like I feel like this is such a toxic trait of mine is, anytime something goes wrong, I'm like what is the lesson? Like let me figure this out, like what's the universe telling me? And I'm going down this rabbit hole of like, oh, my gosh, maybe it means this right. And I think that just trusting the process is the biggest thing. It comes with experience.
Speaker 1:It comes with the really crappy feeling of feeling something and then seeing it work out in the end, and it really comes with just like again, like knowing who you are and being confident in what you bring to the table and realizing that not everything for you is for you, and that's okay, and I think that's the hardest lesson sometimes and I feel like the word failure like even when I say it and hear it, I feel like I like cringe because it's so harsh, like it means, like it has this underlying meaning of like it was so bad, like right Almost to me like a pointing a finger, like that's how I visualize failure, like someone's pointing a finger at me saying like yeah failed and like staring down at me and I'm like, oh, I'm so small and unworthy of this failure really at the end of the day.
Speaker 1:And so I love how you talked about it and just kind of moving through it. And the lesson is important. Often we don't see it at the time. It's hard because you could be grieving a component of it. There could be disbelief and anger along with and anger, um, along with it. Like I, I did an event. I'm not going to say which event it was, but I did an event and up until it's almost I'm not going to stop now, cause I'll give it away Um, I did an event.
Speaker 1:I'll restart. I did an event and after the event finished, I thought what a failure this was. And it wasn't because of the people that were speaking, it wasn't because of the guests, because all of that was perfect, the whole event was perfect. But something inside me told me it was such a failure and I didn't know what it was and it haunted me. I didn't want to do another event and I was just like this is going to go into the next event. I'm going to feel this all over again, you know, and there was such a huge lesson in it.
Speaker 1:And it wasn't until recently where I kind of understood the lesson and I kind of had to redo it and realize that it wasn't a failure. Um, cause it wasn't. It was not a failure and but it was. It was. It was because a lot of things that I wanted for it didn't necessarily go my way and the lesson, the lesson to be learned, was that you kind of just have to go with it and that it's. It's not going to be perfect and it's not. You know, you might have an idea in your mind but you kind of have to roll with it. You kind of have to let go of the A personality type and just kind of ease into it. And so, yeah, for a while I thought like this event was the biggest failure. But everybody else, it was spectacular and beautiful and it was and it is. And I look back at pictures of it and I was like I can't believe I even thought this way from the beginning.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Isn't it funny, like it's all in our perception of things, though, right, and I think that's why, like, for me, journaling is like such a big thing and I thought it was so cheesy. The first time I heard somebody talk about journaling, I'm like, oh my gosh, okay, like, sure, like, let me give it a whirl, let's see what's what it's all about. And it's it's funny, cause I think that we can get caught up with, like side side note, journaling and meditation, like what we think it should be, versus just letting ourselves shape it to what we need it to be for ourselves, and not like just following a template or a guided thing. That, just like being with yourself and your thoughts, I think is the biggest thing.
Speaker 2:And I think in that moment, like with failure, one thing that I've kind of done that I feel like if somebody can take this away and use this moving forward, that would be like the best thing for me is, whenever you feel like you failed something, try to find one thing that was actually positive out of it. Like, no matter what the situation was, no matter how crappy you think it could have been, there's always like that positive thing that comes out of it, and it's kind of like we say this all the time, but you know, I could post something on social media and if it flops, it flops, but if one person got something from it, that's a huge success to me. And it kind of taking that same idea and putting it into life experiences and saying, if this flops, it flops, but if I learned something out of it or there's one positive thing that came out out of it and I can like pinpoint that one thing I'm not going to like feel like there's this big, deep dark like haunting F around this thing.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, it's so true. I want to talk about main character energy. I feel like I'm just stepping into mine. My trip to Florida really I don't know what it did, my solo trip it like ignited something inside of me where it was literally like I'm allowed to take up space, and it was very freeing that no one knew who I was, so I could literally be whoever I wanted.
Speaker 1:I was ultimately I was ultimately myself, but I could have been whoever I wanted and I brought different clothes that I wouldn't necessarily wear here, Like I'm if anybody knows me, I don't wear anything tight form like at all so I brought like tight, fitting clothes just to kind of feel confident in a space where no one knew me and I would never see these people again and I could feel myself in this and build my confidence. And so I would love to talk about main character energy and kind of like the all aspects of it and like how do you get started? Especially like me? That's like I don't know and people would think that I would be like main character energy, but I'm very much behind the scenes type of person. I love watching other people flourish and grow and inspire and empower and I know when I need to be forefront, but I very much love being in the background.
Speaker 2:I love that and I think that it's so funny because there's this like huge misconception and everybody's saying like main character energy. And I feel like when we think of that, we think of like this powerful woman who's got it all together and she's like walking into a room with like a nice power suit on and like a nice pair of stilettos and she's like the whole room looks at her and there's this whole effect. And the thing is is that that is not always main character energy. Sometimes, main character energy is like sitting in a room and being with yourself and reading a book or doing Pilates by yourself, but it's remembering like main character energy, most importantly, is you being the main character of your own life and everything kind of falling around you.
Speaker 2:I think that's something that I've had to learn over time, because you again see everybody's highlight reels and you think to yourself okay, well, maybe I'm not like this main character energy If, like right now, I'm sitting in sweatpants and recording a podcast with you, right, so, like, maybe that's not main character energy but it actually is, because I'm showing up so authentically to who I am so confident in what I bring to the table, so confident in my experiences, my vision, my goals, all these things that that in itself is main character energy. So I think that it's really interesting the concept, and I think that it means something different to everybody, but I think for me it really is finding that like fulfillment and that full like unshakable confidence in yourself, but also knowing that sometimes it's okay to have a slip Like, if you think of the main character of your favorite movies, like you could think of anything from like for me it's like a Carrie Bradshaw, but I also think of like Bella from Twilight and like she actually sat in her room crying over a guy that literally left her right and moved away and she was like wait, where am I? But she's still the main character, right? So I think that for me, you know when you're getting started with main character energy and you really want to kind of like build this confidence in yourself.
Speaker 2:For me, the way that I started was really getting clear on who I am, what I bring to the table, what I value, what makes me unique, what makes me different than everybody else, and from there kind of tripling into how am I going to take that and show up every single day with like that at the forefront of everything that I'm doing. If I'm getting on a sales call, if I'm talking to somebody that I just met in a Pilates class, how do I bring that with me and not feel intimidated by my environment that I'm in or the people that I meet or the things that I have to do in life, and how do I just show up as me? Brittany, main character, bad A, b I don't want to say the words, but that channeling that energy that we really think of but at the same time, being okay with it, doesn't always look that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay. So I love how you broke down main character energy, because when I think main character energy, I think Beyonce Like yeah, that's what. I think, like walking on the stage, gold, like the taking up all the space, yeah, like relishing in it all, like and like to me I'm like that's intimidating, I, I could not step into main character energy like that, like that's yeah, that's not me.
Speaker 2:But when you broke it down and you're like you kind of define them and then thinking I think I'm already in it, like I think you are of course you are, and like anybody listening, like you are in this energy and I think like when you're in that energy and I'm getting so excited, I have goosebumps. So I feel like everybody's going to have goosebumps listening. But I feel like once you're in that it really allows you to show up as Beyonce when you want to, but not feeling like if you don't, that it's not okay, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so true, I want to bring up the intimidation factor because I feel like that's such a crucial component to it. So when you are feeling intimidated, let's just say at a Pilates class you're like I really want to talk to this person. Or you're having a conversation and you're you almost feel like you're going inward, like I'm not enough, I shouldn't be taking up the space here. What is one thing, or even a few things, that you do to kind of break out of that hold?
Speaker 2:I love that. I think that there's, you know, a couple of different things that I find that work for me in different situations. One is, you know, I've kind of almost created like my alter ego that I was like a drama kid growing up, so like I was really good with, like okay, I acted as the tin man in the Wizard of Oz, Like how are you going to like step into that? That's not who I am, right, or like different roles, and I think that sometimes it's easier to try to show up and believe in somebody else than it can be in yourself sometimes. And that's okay, right. Like, if you think about you know, if you were to pitch yourself for something versus your best friend, who are you going to be sounding so much more confident about? So, creating that kind of like alter ego where it's Brittany Megan you know I use my first and middle name, not my last name this is like my alter ego, that it's like it's who I am at her most confident self. If I'm ever feeling like I'm slipping out of that, I can be like, well, what would she do and how's she going to show up right now and kind of step into that role? If you're somebody that you're like, oh gosh, like that does not sound like me at all. I think that affirmations and starting with that every single day is something that's such a game changer.
Speaker 2:I also feel like when you go through life again remembering that, no matter who this person is on the other side of you, that maybe you're feeling a little bit intimidated by. Maybe you're kind of sitting in a room with somebody who I don't know, like you've been following on social media for a long time and you're like, oh my gosh, like she really she's got it all together. Like, look at them, they are like I want, I want to be like them when I'm older, Like you know that feeling that you get, that you feel like, oh, like I don't know if I should go over and talk to them because, like, who am I Right? But remembering that they're also a person and you're just seeing their highlight reel and a lot of your experiences I'm sure if they knew about them, they could probably relate to them on some level.
Speaker 2:And also being okay with the fact that sometimes people do really place themselves on a pedestal, that they don't want to connect with everybody, and that's a them problem, that's not a you problem. And that doesn't mean that you're not the main character of your own life. That doesn't mean that you're not, you know, worthy. That doesn't mean that you're not deserving. That doesn't mean that you know you should feel intimidated. It means that that's not your person and that's okay. There's somebody else, that will be For sure.
Speaker 1:I love how you brought up the affirmations, because I feel like that's what got me out of my intimidation factor when I went away by myself to add context, like I am don't shy away of doing things by myself.
Speaker 1:I'm very good at just whatever.
Speaker 1:I'll go figure it out.
Speaker 1:But being in a place where I honestly felt like I landed and people knew I wasn't from here, it was like I'm like it's just Florida, portia, like everyone right knows that you're not from here.
Speaker 1:But it took me about a day and a half, but my, my affirmation, like my mantra to myself, when every time I felt myself kind of shying away and like quivering in my voice, was you're allowed to take up space, portia, you are allowed to take up space. And then, like every day, I was like sitting up a little bit taller, walking a little bit more prouder, and I was like, yeah, I am allowed to take up space. And that was like now I'm trying to bring that mindset back here Now, back into, like my community, where people know me and I live in a small town, so I feel like I see people all the time, but still walking with that, you know, proud chest, walking tall, being like I'm allowed to take up space. I'm worthy of that. I shouldn't have to shy away here or anywhere else just because of not being familiar with my environment.
Speaker 2:I love that and I feel like, too, like coming back to something you just said that I'm like oh yes, let's chat about that is when you're like walking in a town where people do know you being okay.
Speaker 2:Okay with if you've changed as a person, not letting other people's vision of you or who you used to be or what you know used to define you, still be what you, I guess, like show up as, because I think that, like again, when you've changed so much and you've grown and developed and are part of this incredible community, where you're feeling inspired by all of these amazing people, it's okay to want to change and it's okay to want to, you know, break, shatter your own glass ceiling and break different you know stereotypes or boundaries or limits that you've placed on yourself. But I think that it's also hard because sometimes, when you show up to a room of people that maybe you went to high school with or you grew up with, that knew you, as one way not feeling like you can show up in the full person that you are right now, because you're so afraid of intimidating other people.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, I think there's like it's hard for those that have not grown Like. I remember when I first had my daughter. So before I had, my daughter is partying, I was happy to go lucky. And then I had my daughter and I was young and I was rigid because I didn't want to mess this up, and so friends would come over, mainly male friends. I had my husband, I was married. At the time that sounded weird. Mainly male friends. Wasn't like that, just friends that knew me before.
Speaker 1:And then, you know, after having my daughter, they're like what happened to old Portia? You're not fun anymore and I'm like, oh my gosh, like am I supposed to feel guilty for putting my daughter before me right now, while she's so young and fragile? And there's all these people here in my house that are drinking. I was like, is it like? I can, I can't. I can't be you in this instance. I can't be anymore. I only can be the Portia that's now, and the guilt of just being like you know what happened to you. And I'm like, oh my gosh, like you feel like you have to explain yourself. Well right.
Speaker 2:What happened to me, this little being right here?
Speaker 1:like right, the role I'm in right now. I'm sorry that our lives are very different and I can't be the Portia that you want me to be, but unfortunately that girl's gone and this is who I am right now and it was. That was like the first like that instance. There's not many and like there's, you know, there's like always those one instances, that one conversation that sticks with you and that always stuck with me where it was like I had to justify changing because they hadn't changed yet and it was. It was something so minuscule at the end of the day and I think that's where I kind of was realized like I just can't, I can't justify my growth to anybody anymore.
Speaker 2:Right, and that is mean character energy like that being okay with feeling like you know something. Not everybody is going to get it, but that also doesn't mean that I need to like kill myself trying to explain it or trying to make them understand it, Like it's not going to change the way that I show up, Right?
Speaker 1:And it's hard because sometimes you have to mourn those relationships. I know that I've had to do that a few times and I still want to go back to them. And sometimes I do and I'm like, right, right, we outgrown each other, Like we're very two different people now and it's not the same, that it was Like why do I keep trying to hold on to it? But it's like I just love those relationships, but I am reminded that they're still there, but they're. It's just not the same and it's different.
Speaker 2:It's different Exactly, and I think that's where, like again, like going back to, like finding your hobbies and meeting people, like going to the events that you host, like these are great places to find people that are going to maybe meet you a little bit more where you are right now and love you so unconditionally.
Speaker 1:For that it's so true, Like it's so funny because I go to at the dinners we do like a baseline, so we tell like just generic stuff about ourselves. That kind of gives everybody an understanding of who we are and what we're about, and then we kind of don't talk about that again.
Speaker 2:And I'm like you know.
Speaker 1:I'm like a granola girl at heart, like I want to be in a forest, I want to live in the middle of nowhere. I don't want to be connected to social media Like I. I want to escape, like that is who I am deep down. And I said it's very different than the we experience, because the we experience isn't me, and so right. And it was very interesting because we were like what I? I'm like you would think I'd live this glamorous life and that I would want this, and I'm like it's so opposite. And then there was someone at dinner and she's just like we read, like you're talking, and I was like I fully resonate with you, like I love that's what I'm doing and that's what I'm living. And I was like, oh my god, this is amazing and it's so like, just like you had said, you never know. You come to the events, you go to other places Pilates classes you just put yourself out there and you never know who's going to.
Speaker 1:You know read like I don't even know I was going to say connect versus like cling on to you, but like yeah, like connect with and it will surprise you, and I love that.
Speaker 2:And isn't it so cool when you do find those people that have the same kind of interests, values you know, vision or inspiration whatever the word that I'm trying to find is but those same kind of things as you, that it almost makes you feel so much more confident and like the fact that you love those things. Like I remember the first time that I found somebody else that was like just as obsessed with the color pink I am, like it's literally my personality trait at this point, but it was like, oh my gosh, like having that one person that kind of sees me the way that I see myself in that light, and like being able to have somebody that you can send. Like things when you see them too, like that reminds you of each other, and like just feeling seen, like we all want to feel seen, and I think that's the coolest thing is when you find people that really see you and in ways that you see yourself too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that. Yeah, it's so true. So my last question for you ask everybody this question is what is one piece of advice that you would like to leave here with everybody, everybody?
Speaker 2:this question is what is one piece of advice that you would like to leave here with everybody? This is so good and I feel like my gut is telling me to say, like just don't be afraid to be unapologetically you. And I think that when you really figure out who that is and I think it takes a little bit of work because that doesn't come naturally to everybody Like I feel like I should have been paid for a full-time job, like trying to figure out who I was, but like when you finally like figure that out, don't be afraid of showing up as that version of yourself. Don't be afraid of making other people feel uncomfortable because they don't get it. Don't be afraid of you know just being authentically you and feeling confident in that and knowing that you're not going to be for everybody and that's okay, but the people that you are for are going to love you so hard for it and those are your people.
Speaker 1:I just love this conversation. I feel like we could keep talking. I know We'll have to do it again, for sure. Thank you so much, brittany. Megan, I'm gonna use your main character name, my alter, yes, your alter ego, um, but thank you so much for coming and just sharing your story and and all the little aspects of your life and thank you so much for having me and creating this space and welcoming these conversations.
Speaker 2:I feel like you don't even understand, like the work that you're doing and, I think, the lives that you're changing. I know you have an idea, but I don't think you'll ever fully understand from like our standpoint, how much it means. So, thank you, you're welcome.
Speaker 1:I was going to add to it, but I'm learning just to keep my mouth shut to embrace the compliment. So I love that.
