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Breaking Boundaries: Urmi's Path to Authentic Living
Struggling to navigate a path between your heritage and the culture you grew up in? You're not alone. Step into the world of Urmi, an inspiring woman who, like a skilled alchemist, has learned to blend the rich traditions of her Bengali roots with the vibrant culture of her Italian upbringing. This episode is a journey through her life as a third-culture kid, facing the complexities of identity and the liberating process of self-acceptance. As Urmi unfolds her story, we traverse the delicate dance between two worlds, learning how she came to proudly embody her Italian-Bengali essence.
Have you ever felt trapped by cultural stereotypes or struggled to express your true self? My conversation with Urmi delves into the transformative quest for authenticity and the courage required to break free from community-imposed narratives, especially as a South Asian woman. We share insights on the power of mentorship and the significance of carving out a space where multiple cultures can coexist harmoniously within oneself. This heart-to-heart is a testament to the strength found in diversity and the beauty of forging one's unique identity in a multicultural society.
The finale of our discussion celebrates the act of choosing one's own destiny with integrity and wisdom. Urmi opens up about the poignant moments when she faced pivotal decisions, guided by the mantra of aligning with her true self. Her choices, imbued with authenticity and honesty, serve not only as a beacon for her journey but also as an inspiration for our listeners. Embrace the diversity within and join us for this episode, where the embracement of a bicultural identity and the wisdom of following one's own path are not just discussed—they're lived.
Connect with Urmi @urmamio
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Join me, Portia Chambers, as I sit down with women just like you, sharing moments in their lives that shaped them into who they are today. Stories of motherhood, betrayal, transformation, love and loss, vulnerable conversations, deep connection and collective healing. Welcome to the. This Is we podcast.
Speaker 2:I am so excited to have our next guest here with us. Ortami is Bengali by blood and Italian by birth. She works in the financial services industry in Canada, where she is currently residing. She is a self-published author, speaker, blogger and mentor. She is an activit for women's empowerment and very passionate about teaching and mentoring other girls and women. Thank you for joining us today. I'm really excited that you are here.
Speaker 3:Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2:All right, so let's just dive in and tell us a little bit about the story that you're going to share today.
Speaker 3:Yes, it's my pleasure to be here with you today. I will talk a little bit about my story, my childhood story, how it was to be a Terraculture kid and basically the evolution and me accepting my cultural identity and where I am today.
Speaker 2:All right, I'm excited.
Speaker 3:Okay, so to tell you a little bit about myself, I am italian by birth and mongoli by blood, and I always like to emphasize this because the person that I am today, it's the results of what happened to me when I was a kid. So I basically was born in Italy and my parents are from Bangladesh. So I always struggled in finding like, in creating somewhere. So I went to an Italian school. All my friends were Italian, so I was part of my Italian community and every time I was with them I was very much aware that I did not look like them. I was very much aware of it. As much as I wanted to be like them. I knew that my physical features, my facial features, were not Italian. And when I was in my Bengali community I also very much struggled because I felt like my thoughts, my way of thinking were not the same. So I never felt I was Italian enough. I never felt like I was Bengali enough. So there was always sort of like a struggle in me in finding my identity, Like who am I as a person and who do I want to represent? What cultures do I want to represent?
Speaker 3:Then afterwards I moved to Canada and I feel like Canada has helped me to give a sense of identity because I felt like there were a lot of people like me. There were, you know, mixed background. You had Mexican, Brazilian, I don't know like Japanese, Japanese, Moroccan, I'm just making it up, I'm just like you know. You had multiple like ethnicities. I felt, like you know, had multiple like ethnicities. I felt like you know I could, I could somehow like integrate myself where people can understand where I was coming from. But I always very much struggled when I was asked the question where are you from? Because I was never sure what to say, like do I say I'm Italian? Do I say I'm Bengali? And the problem was that every time I was asked that question I always was spending like 10 minutes in explaining a little bit of my story, Like I was born in Italy, my parents are from Bangladesh. It was like it shouldn't be this difficult.
Speaker 3:It should be really easy, I just have to say one country. But I felt like if I said one country, I was not saying the full story of my identity. But I felt like if I said one country, I was not saying the full story of my identity. Then the problem was that if I said only one country like, let's say I said Italy people would look at me and be like, okay, but you don't look Italian. And then if I said I'm Bengali, people were like, okay, but hold on a second, why do you have such a strong Italian accent? So I always had to like explain myself and that was what bothered me a lot and those type of questions. They helped me to reflect a little bit about who do I want to represent.
Speaker 3:And so a couple of years ago, like I had, you know, dialogues, open discussion with friends who understand me and they told me that, you know, it's not a bad thing to have two cultures in you, but you have to be able to embrace them.
Speaker 3:So I have a lot of like self-reflection, a lot of conversation with people like me and seeing also that there are a lot of people like me in this world, I felt like, you know, I want to represent both identity. I want to embrace both cultures because that's who I am as a person. Like, I love talking Italian, I love eating Bengali food, and so that's how, a couple of years ago, I basically told everyone, like, I am Italian-Bengali, this is who I am. Like, I'm not Italian, I'm not Bengali, I am Italian Bengali. This is who I am, like, I'm not Italian, I'm not Bengali, I am Italian Bengali. And so that's how I like to always introduce myself and that's why I always say I am Italian by birth to Bengali by birth, because I think it just it's the right definition of who, of who I am yeah for sure.
Speaker 2:I well, number one.
Speaker 2:I couldn't even imagine, I can't even relate to what you would have experienced, not only as a teenager and a child, but as an adult, moving to another country and exploring, like who you are.
Speaker 2:And even at those ages we don't even know who we are as individuals, never mind understanding who we are within our own cultures and how that resonates with us and how we want to identify. So, oh my gosh. But I kind of want to go back a little bit to that, that feeling of you know not being enough and especially being, you know, a teenager and coming to these realizations of like you know I belong here, but I don't belong here at the same time. And you know how did that feel growing up, you know, in Italy, with your friends, knowing that you don't look like your friends. Did you have anybody to talk to at that time? Was it something that you could go to your parents about? Or was it something that you could go to your parents about? Or was it something that was just this internal dialogue that you were just kind of keeping to yourself?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I didn't have anyone to talk to Because all of my friends were Italian, so I felt like they could not understand my feelings. They could not understand like this dual you you know type of issue that I was having. And even, like, even at school there were not that many immigrants kids, so I could not even talk to them either because, like, who could understand how I'm feeling about this? So I couldn't, I couldn't even speak about it to my parents because my parents are very strict and severe, so they wanted me to be strictly Bengali. And so, even if I could, I think, even if I had this feeling of like not feeling enough, not feeling like I could be long-summer, it was something that I always kept to myself because I don't think I never felt that someone could have understood me.
Speaker 3:It was only later during the years that I started to speak about it more vocally.
Speaker 3:I started to talk about it with friends, but it only happened in Canada.
Speaker 3:So we're talking like years like later, like it just happened in my mid-20s, for instance, wow, but before that it was, um, it was really impossible and I also felt like it was hard even for my, for my Italian friends to to understand me because even even for them, it was like they're meeting someone who doesn't look like them.
Speaker 3:It was like a learning process to understand like this person, who belongs to different culture, comes from a different country, you know, who speaks a different language. So it was a learning process for them that because they had to understand a lot of the things like why, you know, I couldn't eat certain things so I had to dress a certain way, why my parents wanted me, you know, to always be at home, follow what they were telling me, like I could not have sleepovers, for instance, I could not go out with my friends because there's a cultural expectation and perception that no, if it's a girl, she just has to stay home. So there was. It was difficult for them also to understand me, but they weren't always accepting me for who I was.
Speaker 2:So wow, um, I had a question and now it gapped. It's something that you were talking about. This is why I write it down. How did it feel, not having a sense of belonging in in two contrasting worlds? And I, and maybe as you got older, um, as you started, you know, you moved away and you came to Canada. Um, how did it, you know, feel?
Speaker 3:you know what, in a way, I feel like I was an outsider to the Bengali community. That's how I felt. But I never felt I was an outsider to the Italian community, and I don't know if it's because it's a conscious decision that I made or if it was unconscious, because I think it also comes with the fact that in the Bengali community, I was the oldest one among people of my age, like I was pretty much the oldest one, like all the people that came after me. They were much younger, at five years younger than me. So so there is this whole thing that I didn't have like a peer-to-peer type of thing and I could not talk about it with like younger people. They could not relate to me.
Speaker 3:And all my friends, all my friends, were Italian.
Speaker 3:They were all of my age and these are my high school friends, so with them I always felt like I belonged somewhere.
Speaker 3:But I always had this idea in my mind, this thought in my mind, that, yes, I belong to them, but I don't look like them. I don't look like them and as much as I wanted to do all the things that they were doing, I don't look like them, and as much as I wanted to do all the things that they were doing. I could not do them because, let's say, their parents were much more free with them. They would let them do whatever they wanted to do like go out, hang out with friends whereas my parents were much stricter with me because there was this perception that she's a girl, she's not allowed to do any of these things, she's just supposed to be at home. And they didn't even want me to hang out too much with, like with my Italian friends, because there was a fear that, like, I was going to be brain brainwashed, really. But when I was with my Italian friends, I always felt like I was myself, because I could express everything that was in my mind. So there was that too yeah, that's good.
Speaker 2:At least there was an. At least there was kind of like a silver lining, I guess a little bit in it all, where you were still able to, even, you know, being into very contrasting worlds, you still were able to, you know, build and form true relationships, even though you know this subtle sense of belonging was not necessarily there. Did you ever find that, um, it held you back from creating other relationships, uh, while you were still in Italy, maybe outside of high school kind kind of that, in-between from coming from finishing there and then coming to Canada?
Speaker 3:No, I don't think so. No, no, it didn't. There is a moment during my childhood where we lived in UK, so this was when I was 13. And in UK there is a big community of Bengali people and, funny enough, when I think about it, I felt at home when I was with them, when I was in UK. I felt like I was at home because my parents allowed me to hang out with the Bengali community, so like I had Bengali friends and I could hang out and I was never questioned anything, and so it was like I had a sense of freedom. I felt like I was appreciating a little bit more the Bengali side of me and I feel like I was learning a lot more about the bengali culture as well.
Speaker 3:But then we went back to to italy afterwards and it was just back to the beginning where, yeah, you're not allowed to hang out with these people, you know, like that was the only thing. But I still did, no matter what I still did. I did Like you cannot even expect your daughter not to make friends or hang out with people that don't look like her. Like there's always this fear, basically, that if we let her have too much freedom, she might be brainwashed, she might turn like them, even though there was nothing against them. But there was a fear because you're a teenager, so that's when, when you know you do crazy things. Yeah, yeah, so there was a fear. Even though I still talk to these friends, it's, it's like, um, no matter what, I still did what I felt was right for me and I still, like I made friendship with anyone, basically.
Speaker 2:So oh, that's great. Yeah, teenagers can be very impressionable that's what my husband always says about my daughter but at the same time, I think they have their own mind and their own sense of being too, and sometimes you just gotta Let them mess up a little bit to understand. You know where the line is and you know when it can be blurred and when it can't necessarily be that way. Yeah, so let's talk about going against the grain within your culture. How did you overcome limiting beliefs and standards that were put on you?
Speaker 3:So you know what all my life I was was growing as I was growing up, I I was. I did grow up with this belief that, you know, women are not supposed to do certain things. Women cannot do certain things, like if you're a boy, things are much easier. Usually there's there's a little bit of double standard. There still is a little bit of double standard. There still is a little bit of double standards. I basically had to move away to do the things that I wanted to do and to basically break this type of this sort of cycle that there is. And some of the things that I started to do was really to like, for instance, have a mentor that I never had. So be the mentor that I never had. That was something that I lacked when I was a kid, like I always wished there was someone of my age or someone much older so I could speak to. That was one thing that I did. I became a mentor myself for people much younger than me who need that type of guidance or they need that type of support. And the other thing was also like a lot of self-reflection, like reading books, listening to podcasts, to really tell myself that I can do anything that I want you know.
Speaker 3:It's like it's not wrong to do certain things, take a different path. That is not the ordinary. The problem is that I am like the south asian community. It's very much based on certain rules and on the defined rules of what a woman should be, and I think people are not used to it when they see that she is deviating from those rules. But it's not wrong. It's just that things are evolving, things are progressing. Women are becoming much more independent, they're much more, much more autonomous, and I think it's hard for cultures that have been so conservative and very hard to change to see a disruptor and so.
Speaker 3:But I do continue in this path of being a disruptor because I think we need those change to pave the way for the future generations and things.
Speaker 3:Things cannot be the way the way they were, and I think there is also fear for this community that they will lose the cultures if people do these things. But I don't think it's about losing the cultures. It's about embracing them and being able to accept both worlds. And so that's what I do I accept both worlds and I mix them and create my world, which is the third world. You know, it's like it's a result of a fusion of two things. World, you know, it's like it's a result of a fusion of two things, and so I do like a lot of volunteering words related to women's empowerment, where I try to, you know, spread the message of equality, women's empowerment. You know, these are the important things that we need for the next generations, and so this is how I was able to, you know, let go of these thoughts is really, I have to not care too much about what people say, because you're just gonna be.
Speaker 2:These are just thoughts, yes, and you cannot live based on people's thoughts and so true and I love how you brought that up that you know you can't always, you know, be tied down as to what people say or their opinions of you because, like you said, you're just gonna live their life in your own life yeah and it's never gonna be fulfilling, it's never.
Speaker 2:You're never gonna feel a sense of purpose or there's gonna be lots of resentment towards those individuals and maybe even resentment towards your culture, because you know it could can go a variety of different ways, and I want to go back a little bit to when you moved to Canada and you know how that felt. Did it feel liberating? Like the moment you landed you're like, ah, a fresh start, like I can't wait, I'm excited. Or were you like, okay, what was I thinking?
Speaker 3:uh, this might be a little bit harder than what I was, you know, anticipating no, honestly, I'm happy of the decision because I like to explore things and I like their known factor. So I had no clue what I was going to expect from here. I didn't do any research about the weather, who lives here. I didn't do any of these things. I highly suggest people to do their research before they move somewhere. But it was a surprise. It was a pleasant surprise because, honestly, I had probably the best experience in university because all of my friends are from like different countries and I love that.
Speaker 3:I love that because when I was in Italy, all my friends were Italians, and now here I have people from Vietnam, I have people from Mexico, I have people from like China you know I have people from like China, you know I had people from Greece and for me it was like an enriching experience, very enriching, because I feel like it just gave me so many perspectives about the world, about different cultures. You know, I got to meet all these people and for me it was really a learning opportunity, because some of the things you do not just learn them through books, you have to learn them through books, you have to learn them through the experiences of people, and so for me it was, it was the best thing ever, and and I like the fact that Canada is so multicultural, so welcoming and accepting of people, there is so much diversity, and this is why I feel like there was a sense of belonging for me here, because when I look like, left and right, you have people from different nationalities and that's, that's the beauty of Canada.
Speaker 3:so it really is yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:I love how you brought up the weather, because that was something I was gonna ask. Ask because, especially where you are, like we, obviously there's bad weather, like Ontario, quebec, winnipeg, you know anything. East you're going to get bad weather. You're going to experience all four seasons very thoroughly.
Speaker 3:Even in one day.
Speaker 2:Even in one day. That's very true. We can experience it all, um. But yeah, the weather is probably the biggest thing. But I was talking to somebody, uh, yesterday who came here from Colombia and she said the weather was the best thing because where she's from, she doesn't experience all four seasons. It's spring all year round, and so she just thought it was so great to experience it. That was like maybe her first year, but after a while, honestly, yeah, like I remember my first year struggling.
Speaker 3:I was like what's, what's wrong with this? Like walking on a snowstorm to go to university on a freezing rain, I think I fell, I was so terrified after that. And then, like there were some years where, like honestly, we had, I think, 10 months of winter and I was like when is this over? But luckily now we have warmer winters, which which is not a good thing, but still, yeah, but honestly, it can be exhausting at some point.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is exhausting and it does play with your mental health significantly, because in the winter we have far more gray days than we have sunny days.
Speaker 2:And it's it's, yeah, it's its own here, um, so I have a question about fitting into a box, and I feel like it's kind of a little bit of the theme for our conversation is how you know your family really wanted you to fit in this one box, where you were like, uh no, thank you, I don't want to be in this one box, I want to. I want to be in my own other box, or no box at all, and so why is being different so important to you?
Speaker 3:So when I think about being different, I think about two words original and authentic. And those are two important things for me. Like everything that I do in my life has to be like unique and original. I don't like to do the conventional thing, I like to add a little bit of flavor of me. And I like being authentic because I think you just show your true self to the world and it's so much more important to be authentic and honest to yourself than to lie to yourself and fit in a box to make other people happy.
Speaker 3:And the concept of fitting a box, I think it's also something engraved in the society, where they want us to be a certain way to fit the box, because that's how things work.
Speaker 3:But, um, but I think I see things changing where people are creating their own boxes and I think that's what makes them unique. And for me, like like you know, just you know when you know when you fill out those paper and you have to put like your ethnicity, like you have to put your like canadian, you have to put like your nationality or you have to check the box. Like I always struggle, I have to say like I really did struggle because I was like, yeah, okay, I'm putting what I'm actually legally, I'm what I what I am legally, but that's not how I feel. And so for me, even like filling out those paper, taking the box, it's like something that I never felt comfortable with, even though I have to do it because it's for legal reasons. And so for me, like honestly, I always tell people like you don't have to fit a box, you just have to create your own box and that's it. That's pretty much how things should work, yeah wow.
Speaker 2:And so what advice would you give to somebody who is, you know, feeling the exact same way that you were feeling at one point in time, where they're like I'm being told to fit in this box? You know, I don't know what to do. I'm listening to others. I don't feel like myself, but I know myself is in there. How do they, you know, let go of that, those limiting beliefs?
Speaker 3:I think doing a lot of self-reflection, writing it down, is a starting point, and having conversation with yourself is also another starting point as well, because I think, before everything else, you have to be honest to yourself. Like, do I really want to be this way because I want to serve the needs of other people, because this is what society tells me to do, or do I want to be honest to myself and be who I am? And I think, like, being part of community definitely helps a lot because you can see that you are not alone in this journey. You're not alone with this kind of thoughts that you have.
Speaker 3:Talking it out to trusted people, people who share your same experience, is also very important, because it's not a journey of one person, it's a journey of many people, and I always suggest talk to it with people that understand you, people that actually have gone through the same experience. Like, if you talk to someone who has one culture or you know it's uh, let's say, doesn't have this kind of issue, I don't know how helpful it would be, um, and also, like you know, like for me, when volunteering for organizations that empower people or organizations that deal with you know, through culture, it also is very helpful, and I know there are so many out there, and so these are some of the things that I think are very, very helpful for people who feel this way, things that I think are very, very helpful for people who feel this way. But, like, for me, it was really talking with trusted people really helped me a lot, because it made me feel like okay, I'm not abnormal, like it's all like valid how I'm feeling and thinking, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I love how you brought up community and talking to other people, because it really does give you this feeling of not being alone and that your thoughts are valid and that what you are thinking and feeling is could be very similar to somebody else who has already forged that path and can give you, you know, a little bit of advice or just an ear to listen to, because sometimes that's all we need is just someone just to listen and be like. This is what I'm feeling, like, like I'm not crazy, feeling this right, and so I think I'm I'm very excited that, or very happy that you brought up community, because I think that's so important so the other thing I was going to suggest because one of my friends uses it is talking to a therapist.
Speaker 3:I think that also could be helpful, because I know one of my friends she talks to a therapist, someone who's basically, you know, neutral. Yeah, it's also very helpful because she can give you, or he can give you, his perspective, her perspective, about basically what she's seeing and what she, what she's hearing. So I think, like, even therapy is a good, it's a good method yeah, it's a good alternative.
Speaker 2:yeah, 100%. I was going to ask a little bit about being scared, and not necessarily like scared coming to the new country, but scared being you like. I think that's so I know for myself. You know there's people that you can be totally authentically you like. That is to me, that is my husband and my daughter. Like they know who I am, the weirdest quirks that I have and the things that I do. They're like for sure you are nuts, but I can fully express myself with them unconditionally. I know that they're going to love me at the end of the day and I have a few friends that are like that as well and things that people that I've grown up with my entire life.
Speaker 2:But for me, like my guard kind of stays up. So to be, you know, not saying that when I'm sitting here right now I'm not authentically me. Of course I'm not authentically me, but sometimes when you really show your two colors, it can be a little nerve wracking and scared. So did you ever feel that way on your journey of you know, exploring who you are and who you want to be?
Speaker 3:Yeah, A lot of the times, a lot of the times, because, um, they, you know, there, like you said, there are some people who like with some people you can be, but with others I feel like you have to put a break and think a little bit before what you say on how you behave. So I always had those thoughts, especially with certain people, and I had it a lot with my Bengali community, and that's because there was a culture barrier there and it goes back to how I was brought up, like I was brought up in a Western society. So my mentality it was much more evolved, it was much more progress, it was much more modern compared to the other, to the South Asian, mentality. So when I was always around these people, I was very much aware that if I say something that goes against their values, I would just be judged. And there were times where I was like you know what, I'm still gonna say it, let me just see what happens.
Speaker 3:I like once I made this comment to a friend who he's basically Indian, and I said, oh, what's wrong with living with your partner before marriage? You know, like everyone does it. He just gave me the weirdest look of her, as if, like I like said something so bad. I was like you know what it's only good if you do that. You know, like, if you go live with your partner before getting married, it just, it just gives you, it allows you to know the person better, and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. He did look at me really um badly, but I, for me, was important to to express it because, because I wanted to not again, I didn't want to fit or conform to what the society thinks or what south asian community thinks is the right thing to do. Anyway, even though he looked, didn't look at me nicely, he still went and and went to live with the with his girlfriend before marriage. Yeah, he did, he did. Wow, he did. Yeah, he did, he, he did, he did them conventional at the end. So I'm, I think I'm happy that I threw that uh, you know, idea in him. Um.
Speaker 3:So I tried to like some some days I tried to be it indirectly, I tried to be.
Speaker 3:I try to give this kind of messages indirectly and some other times I'm direct. But now I feel like I have a bit more confidence, empowering me to stand up for who I am and to say the things that I think Like, for instance, the other thing is, as I was telling you before, like women are seen a certain way. There's a lot of double standards in this outage and community and there are a lot of female in my, in my family. I always tell them, like you know, if you want to study, pursue dedication, if let's say men are not happy in the kitchen, them okay, how about you guys help us in the kitchen? Like I always say it, regardless of the comments that I get back, I think it's important to be, you know, that kind of advocate and to like spread a little bit of that message you might not be taking positively, because it's only like that that you can, you can make a change. You know, like if I don't say, say anything, then no one's going to do anything.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so yeah you're planting the seed and with the seed, it grows right planting the seeds.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're planting the seed and yeah, it's quite evident in that conversation with a friend of yours and you planted the seed and got him thinking and and you know that's where change happens. So you know it takes a lot of courage to voice your opinion and, and especially when you are feeling a little guarded, where you are feeling as if you need to be in a box, like it takes a lot of courage to be. You know it's not awful to live together before marriage and then having to sit through his face like that's a lot like that right there helps build so much character and so much confidence within yourself because it's so uncomfortable it is, it is it is.
Speaker 3:But you only grow when you embrace that comfortable.
Speaker 2:So exactly, and then it allows you to do it again, being like, okay, wasn't the worst thing in the world, I can do this again and I can slowly change. You know, help other people see something outside of the box and that there's more to everything. And just because you know, like you had said, you know the fear of losing their culture you know, within kind of bending some of the rules rules that you can still kind of see that the culture is very much living there within it, even though the rules are just slightly bent, and so I commend you on that. That takes a lot of courage, like a lot of people can't do that thank you. So how are you embracing?
Speaker 2:both cultures now you know what I love. Both cultures, now you know what.
Speaker 3:I love both cultures equally and I accept myself as being both Bengali and Italian, and I didn't realize that I was already embracing them before. I was, like aware that I was embracing them Because, like, for instance, I speak Italian with my sister or with my cousins. It was me who brought Italian at home, like it was me who started to have conversation with my sister in Italian. Like we never spoke Bengali to each other. We always use Italian toali to each other, we always use italian to speak to each other, even, like, with our parents. We speak, uh, we speak bengalian. I, um, I love eating italian food, I love making italian, but, like it just excites me when I'm making italian food, um, and I love going back to, going back to italy, because I do feel like this is my home. Like, if you ask me what's my home, I will always say it's Italy, because there's so much of my childhood there. But I also equally love the Bengali culture. And there was something that I didn't 100% appreciate when I was growing up, because of these limiting beliefs that were imposed to me, because of all these things that I imposed to me, because of all these things that I couldn't do, because of how I felt with the Bengali community, but now I accept it.
Speaker 3:But I accept what I want to accept, which is, you know, the food, the way we dress, some of the values that we share. So, for instance, I love the fact that I can speak another language, which is my parents' mother tongue. I love the fact that I can speak another language, which is my parents' mother tongue. I love the clothes that we wear. I think it's just something that makes you feel like you're a princess and, you know, even the country of Bangladesh is a very nice country where you know you get to see beautiful nature and landscape. So I, I this is how I I basically embraced both cultures, like I just bring them in my life every day with little things, and then I'm like I love the fact that I have those two cultures in me because I think it's just strengths, it is my own strength, it really is.
Speaker 2:It truly is. So what is one piece of advice that you would like to leave here with everybody today? It could be about the conversation that we had had. It could be advice that you just carry with you every single day, that you always lean on.
Speaker 3:Well, I'm going to say it based on the conversation that we had, and this is an advice that my closest friend gave me. She said that once to me always do the things that will bring you closer to your true self, and she shared with me this advice when I had to make a decision about a few job offers that I got and I could not choose between any one of them, and so she gave me that advice, and so I used that advice when I made my decision, and I use that advice nowadays for everything that I do, because I think for me, it's much more important that I am true and honest to myself. That's much more important than anything else. So that's the advice that I have for the audience today Wow.
Speaker 2:I love that advice. I think it's so fitting and I'm going to carry that with me. I love that. So thank you for sharing that. You're welcome. So, thank you for sharing that. You're welcome. Well, I am so excited that you are here and you are sharing your story. Um, it takes a lot of courage and vulnerability to share, and it takes a lot of courage for you know what you are doing and what you have done, and so thank you again for sharing. It was such a pleasure to talk to you today, thank you you're welcome.
