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Celebrating Resilience and the Art of the Pivot with Laura Sinclair
Ever find yourself at a crossroads, wondering if it's time to turn the page and begin anew? Laura Sinclair joins me, Portia Chambers, for a raw and empowering conversation that pierces through the heart of such pivotal moments. Together, we traverse Laura's transformative journey from the closure of her CrossFit gym during the pandemic to redefining her identity and career. Our discussion is a beacon for those navigating the complexities of entrepreneurship and motherhood, illuminating the path through adversity and towards a life crafted by intention.
Imagine a world where mishaps become lessons and uncertainty, a playground for growth. Our latest episode unpacks the beauty of embracing imperfection, as Laura and I share personal anecdotes on overcoming the fear of failure and adapting to life's curveballs. We celebrate the small victories and the humbling process of starting from scratch, be it in careers or the daily rhythms of life. This narrative champions the notion that every misstep is an opportunity to model resilience to our children and to ourselves.
We're forging a narrative that empowers women to chase their dreams on their own terms, defying societal expectations and conventional wisdom. Join us as we delve into the art of authenticity and how shedding the shackles of external validation can lead to profound joy and fulfillment. From supporting loved ones in their quests for happiness to writing your own permission slips for life, this episode is an invitation to embrace your unique journey and the unfiltered pursuit of what sets your soul ablaze.
Follow Laura on Instagram @itslaurasinclair
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Join me, portia Chambers, as I sit down with women just like you, sharing moments in their lives that shape them into who they are today Stories of motherhood, betrayal, transformation, love and loss, vulnerable conversations, deep connection and collective healing. Welcome to the this Is we podcast. I am so excited to have our next guest here with us In today's episode. I am here with Laura Sinclair. Laura believes that you and your business deserve to be seen and has made it her life's mission to support female entrepreneurs in their quest to build a life by design. With over a decade of experience building digital marketing strategies for some of the world's biggest brands, laura now teaches ambitious women how to adapt their strategies of Fortune 500s for their own businesses, empowering them to step into their inner CEO along the way. A mother of two, laura is a marketing and business mentor for ambitious women and the CEO of a boutique social media marketing agency, the LJ Social Agency, and the host of this Mother Means Business podcast. Laura, I'm so excited you're here.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited to chat.
Speaker 1:All right, so I would. So today we're actually talking a little bit about starting over, and you're going to be sharing your story of starting over, so, without further ado, please share with us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would love to, and it's always so funny when somebody reads my bio I'm like, oh, that's sort of a mouthful and it's kind of a lot and I've done a lot of things, and so I think sometimes what I'm super excited to chat about is this starting over story, because I'm active online and I think a lot of people see the success and what that looks like and we don't really talk a lot about where that actually came from. And so, for me, I'm a person that has done a lot of different things. Obviously, if you follow my bio in my life and the story that I really want to share today is talking about let's go back to 2020. And we all know what happened in 2020. But in March of 2020, I owned a CrossFit gym actually in Bradford CrossFit Bradford. I'd owned that since 20. We bought it, I guess, in 2016. It was probably a gym that was probably about six months away from closing. If we hadn't bought it, it was not run particularly well, as a lot of small businesses are, unfortunately and so my husband and I had the opportunity to take over the business, and we did and built it up to a multi six-figure gym. It was doing really well, and I'd had my first daughter while I owned the gym. So my first daughter was born in, or my daughter was born in 2017.
Speaker 2:And then we kind of had our business in a place where it was like, ok, we can have another child and things aren't going to implode, you know, and if anyone has run a brick and mortar business with a baby, I don't recommend it.
Speaker 2:I will never do it again, but it was certainly a really difficult time to get through that season, and so we made the decision to have another child. Our business was really running itself, we had staff in place. I really didn't need to be there very much, which was great and so we were like, ok, let's do it. You know, we can have another baby. And so when the world shut down for two weeks out of an abundance of caution we all know how the rest of that went I was eight weeks pregnant with my now three year old son, and if anyone I mean I'm sure a lot of people listening are from Ontario, but if you're not from Ontario, our COVID restrictions were really intense here, and so the gym was closed for five months. I want to say, initially, with the initial closure, yeah, I want to say.
Speaker 1:It was like this summer I felt like things started to kind of peek a boo back open yeah.
Speaker 2:So I was eight weeks pregnant when things closed and then I got which was the one blessing behind it all I was horribly sick, you know, like very like, lots of like morning sickness which isn't really morning sickness, let's be honest, it's sickness all the time, yeah. And so I got to be sick and just be at home, which was kind of nice, but it was just my husband and I that on the gym, like it was. This was our income, my family's money. You know there wasn't even have financial backers. I think a lot of businesses that certainly wellness businesses that were able to hold on during COVID either had deeper pockets in us or just bigger businesses. We had about 215 members pre COVID and then when things opened up again in July, I think we were down to, I want to say, like 115. Wow, it was significant, and I don't blame anybody for not paying for their memberships for the gym. It wasn't open, the gym wasn't open. But when you as a small business owner still have to pay for all of the things right, like we didn't, we didn't get breaks on rent or you know, you're still had to pay for it we found ourselves in a pretty big financial hole. And so when we reopened, dan and I had sort of said, ok, we need to be back to, you know, 150 members by this date. Otherwise, we were going to have to make a tough decision because at this point, when we did reopen, my son was born in October.
Speaker 2:So I think we were we reopened maybe in July or August, my son was born in October, and then there were talks of another closure, which actually did end up happening. There was a secondary closure, but we decided at the end of 2020 that we were going to close the gym. So we kind of looked at each other. We're like, do we want to do this for the next five to seven years to get this business back to where it was? And the answer was no.
Speaker 2:It was just like we had a little baby. We kind of been through hell and back. The first time that we owned a baby in a brick and mortar gym Wasn't great. And so we made the decision to close. We sold off all of the equipment and I'll never forget it. You know, I I wasn't even there the last day that we closed because I just like meant emotionally couldn't do it. So I think my husband was there with his dad and his brother like packing up the last little couple of floor mats and slam balls and putting them in the back of the Arquia, sorento and over way you know. And that was it. And then there I was with a at that time, two eight week old baby. I'd been an entrepreneur for six years at that point and had like no idea what I was going to do.
Speaker 1:It doesn't sound great and I can kind of relate to it. I didn't have a brick and mortar, but I remember that time because I had a spin studio. It was in my home, so the expenses were very different. Like when I shut down, it was. It wasn't like I was going negative in the red, I was just sitting at zero, but it but it brought up a lot of different emotions of like, is this going to work out? And I felt like, is this going to work out when it reopens? But is it going to be the same? That was a big component for me. Is it going to be the same?
Speaker 1:Because two weeks being off is one thing, but months being off was so hard and I know for myself like I got really used to it, I started to enjoy it. I was still doing other things, um, but I think like I can minusculey relate to just some of the, the thoughts and emotions that were going through. But yeah, you had mentioned that you couldn't go. You know that final day to the gym and you sent your husband what was really like if you were willing to open up about it, like what was really going on for you.
Speaker 2:I think for me, it was like a huge piece of my identity was attached to this business. You know, when I think back to if you had asked me in like February of 2020, what my five year plan was, I would have probably I mean, I didn't have one, but it was it would have been like buying a commercial building and making a seven figure gym, like running a million dollar business, gym business. Like that's what I would have been if you had asked me, like what I would be doing in February of 2025, back in 2020. Like that was the plan. The plan was that I was going to run a gym. I was good at it. You know the business was making per month what I paid for it, like it was doing really well. And that was the plan. That was the path that I was on and that's what I was doing.
Speaker 2:There wasn't a thought in my mind that like, oh, maybe we're going to get out of this in the next two to three years. I was like, no, my entire identity was wrapped up in being a gym owner, being a CrossFit athlete, being somebody that you know I laugh about that now because I'm so far away from that in this season of my life, but like that was what it was, and there was this massive piece of my identity, like who I was attached to this business and so I couldn't go the last day because I was just like I am not. I cannot like, I don't want the visual reminder to be in the physical space of like this death really.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, like this was this death of a part of myself that I'd come to build over five years and it was a massive piece of like who I felt that I was. And you know, over these last three years I've done a ton of work on, you know, redefining who I am and detaching any like external, like success metrics or things from that identity, like I am me wholly within myself. But I didn't know that at the time and so for me it was like it felt like I failed and it also felt like, yeah, there was a piece of me that was like literally dying and I wasn't going to go there and watch the death.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when you put it in that in that way, it really does feel like a death.
Speaker 2:Well, when you, when I think about, like, how much I poured into that business and how much I lost. Yeah, you know what, when you're an entrepreneur, you're choosing stress, you're choosing anxiety, you're choosing fear, and I think there is a really big mental health component that is attached to actually entrepreneurship. That is part of the choice. And so when I think about all of the tears and all of the fights and all of you know, there was a really really difficult time on my marriage, certainly running a brick and mortar when my daughter was born, my marriage basically imploded. Everything, like everything that I did, was about that gym and I lost so much in that process.
Speaker 2:I gained a lot too, but there's a really large price that you pay when you choose brick and mortar entrepreneurship or entrepreneurship in general right, and so for me it wasn't just about like, oh you know, I'm gonna close the gym and it's healthy equipment, it's gonna be fine, it's like no, like I have I invested everything into running that business, to the detriment of so many other things in my life, and so it closing and I'm like getting emotional talking about it. I haven't talked about it in this depth for so long because I think I just kind of like ran through it as I continued, but in closing it it really was this like chapter of my life closing and really shutting the door on something that took so much from me as well.
Speaker 1:Did you ever think in those moments that you would be where you are today? Maybe not necessarily thinking like doing what you're doing, but did you ever think that it would be light again?
Speaker 2:No, definitely not. Not in it right, like no. So I've always been a really resourceful and scrappy human, and I think that's part of why I've been able to like land on my feet and figure it out, and one of my mottos, even when I own the gym, was like I'll make it work, like I'll figure it out Right, like that was just, that was just who I am. It's like, oh, I'll find a way. And so I definitely like knew that I would figure something out. I didn't really know what it was and I certainly like, if you had said to me oh you know, here's all the things you're gonna be doing, this is what your business is gonna look like, no, I would have never believed you, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's wild, it is wild, it is wild, it is. And you got to think, like three years, like that's not a lot of time when you look at the grand scheme of things, like I always, I always I was thinking about this the other day, you know, someone was like I can't believe you cold punch and I can't believe you do this and you do all these hard things and I'm like, but if you look at it, if I'm sitting in a tub for two minutes, that's nothing, that's a blip in my timeline. Like that is true, that's nothing. Like I can't believe you go for, like the really like I get facial, deep tissue, facial massage and I can't believe you do that. Like it's a blip. Like, yes, it's so uncomfortable. In that moment my eyes are streaming with tears and I'm like sitting there going. Why did I? Why did I decide this was a good idea? But I remind myself that this is only 30 seconds of discomfort and I can do 20, 30 seconds of this comfort.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's also like compared to what.
Speaker 1:Exactly.
Speaker 2:You know, like I can't believe you do that, that's so hard. Like compared to what. It's two minutes at a nice tub, is it awful? Yeah, but compared to like what? What's the comparison point here?
Speaker 1:Exactly Like I'm, like it's not, it's not that bad, like I don't know. If I could, I could sit and do and gloom on it the whole time and I'm sure it would be way worse and the time would feel way longer. But I always think like, in the grand scheme of things, it's nothing, it's nothing, it's uncomfortable for that time and I learned something about myself, or not.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, I've learned so much Like I am fundamentally a different person. Then I think back to who I was in, you know, december of 2020, when we closed the gym.
Speaker 2:I think our last day was like December 15. And then we were closed, like we were out of there December 30, december 31. I'm a fundamentally different person. Like I cannot even I am so not that person anymore.
Speaker 2:There's so much that has changed and in just three years, like the amount of work that I've had to do on myself, the amount of work that I've done on my marriage, my sense of self, my external validation, like everything, the way that I show up for other people, like I am so different and so you know people will say to me you know, I'm so sorry to hear about your gym, so it's okay, you know, like I really do.
Speaker 2:Certainly at the time I'm like, thank you, I'm so sad. But now it's like I look back and I'm like no, like that had to happen, like that experience had to happen, and that feeling of like having no idea whether or not we were going to be able to make money, if I was going to have to go back to work. Like I have a corporate marketing background so I knew that if I had to get a job I could. But I sort of gave myself like six months. It's like, okay, I need to at least be able to make. I think the number was like $5,000 a month or like three grand a month like it wasn't a lot of money because we had sold off all the gym equipment. And so I think we made like at that time there was COVID and everybody wanted gym equipment and so you know we didn't exactly have to fire sale the equipment and so I think I had like $40,000 worth of gym equipment in my bank, in the bank.
Speaker 2:It was like, okay, so I have a $40,000 runway and I need to figure it out and I wasn't making a ton of money at first, but I was like, okay, I need to. I really like to at least have a year. You know other people in Canada. They get a year off when they're employed by a corporation. I never had that. I never had the benefit of a maternity leave. But I was like, okay, I think I can figure this out, but it was gosh, like a very, very painful. When I look at the three years, like, yeah, it's a blip, I look back like I could take my, I can transport myself back to December 2020 and close in the gym very quickly. It is a blip, but like, at the same time, I'm so grateful for all of it Because I wouldn't be where I am, we wouldn't be having this conversation if I hadn't got through it.
Speaker 1:So I want to bring up the big word of failure. I don't think that anything is a failure. I think they're just redirections, or I think it's just how you label it at the end of the day. But you know, outside, looking in, some people would think that that was a failure. Yeah, and so how did you deal with those kind of external emotions? Because I find like almost people can put their own idea of failure on you and then you're like oh, I never thought it was a failure.
Speaker 2:I so the 2020 version of myself fully thought it was a failure.
Speaker 2:I was like I have failed, I'm the worst, like I couldn't do it, but really like when I take a step back from it, it's sort of twofold.
Speaker 2:When I took a step back from it, like it was my decision, like that's what I chose for myself, and so I could have continued to run the gym, I could have continued to been like just scraping by, could have put myself through that, but it was actually like my mature version of myself making that decision, because in the 2017 version of myself, when I had my baby, would have continued to run the gym, but I knew that if I were to try to do what we did in 2017 and 2020, under all of these rules, with this new little baby, I knew that it was not only going to break me, but it would break my marriage and probably the relationships with everybody that I had around me.
Speaker 2:Like I was able to have that side into it, and so for me, I was really able to hold on to that piece. That it's like this isn't a failure. This is me choosing different, it's me choosing better, and one of the things that I've really had to do is just reestablish my relationship with failure. And, to your point, I truly believe that the only way to fail is to quit, because I've been an entrepreneur for almost 10 years and, like, entrepreneurship is a series of failures.
Speaker 1:It really is.
Speaker 2:It really is, and you have to be willing to go fall face first in a really cold puddle, be covered in mud, to stand up and continue walking and just to keep going, brush yourself off and keep going. And so I think for me, I think a lot of people kind of looked at me almost like impiti. I think people pitied me a little bit, like oh, I'm so sorry, it's like no, I'm going to be okay. And I think after the initial grieving of the death then I gave myself about I want to say like six weeks to really just be a blob and be a mom and focus on my baby. Some of my resolve started to come back and sort of remembered who I am and what I'm capable of.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I think for anybody that looked at that as a failure, I think that's really more of a mirror for them than it was for me and really changing my relationship with what failure is and what it even means, like I'm okay with failing because to your point, it really just is okay. Well, that didn't work, let's try this over here. And there has to be a willingness to do that, I think, not just for entrepreneurship, like in life, right, like you have to be willing to be like whoop, well, that sucked and then kind of turn a corner or try it a different way or try it again under different circumstances, and I do think that that's again a big reason why I'm even able to say the things that I said, that you write about me in my bio, right, like none of those things would be there if I wasn't willing to mess up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that and I think that's it's a tough lesson to learn and I'm trying to teach my daughter, who's 16, that that lesson like it's okay to mess up, like we're not perfect. I'm trying to teach her how to laugh at herself, which is hilarious, because that doesn't come easy to most people. And but, yeah, because she can take things so seriously and immediately, because it doesn't work out, it's an automatic failure. I failed, I can't do this and I'm like but you didn't fail, you tried, I don't know, like, especially with her cooking competition that she did earlier this year. It was like, how many kids are at your school? 500 kids, and you're the one person that chose to do this. Yeah, Outside of all the other things that you're doing, you chose to do this, so You're not a failure. How are you a failure?
Speaker 2:We try to use the word yet in our house a lot, because my six year old is also very hard on herself and it's like, where is this coming from? And I have some friends that are in a human design and things like that, and it's something that I'm kind of playing around with a little bit for my own understanding and that's just like her human design is. Her nature is to be really hard on herself, and so we're really playing around with this word, yet it's like I can't, I messed this up and I don't know how to do it yet and so she'll catch herself and do that. But I think that we're inherently like. Some of us are just inherently really hard on ourselves and some of us, how we were raised certainly I was raised in a household where achievement was worthiness and that, if you weren't, you know, I played competitive sports.
Speaker 2:I tried to get good grades and I have. I'm the middle of three girls, and so there was a. Whether my parents intended to do this or not I don't think they intended to, but it was highly competitive. There was this like feeling of competition with my sisters all the time, and so for me it was like achievement meant worthiness and I was only really that attention or it was really only important if I was doing things well. And so I think you know, when I dealt with some of the stuff with the gym and losing the gym and closing it down, like some of those stories come up too, and I think I and I see a lot of those stories in my friends and people that I'm around If you, if you're not a person that's dove into your inner child work, consider this your invitation. It'll be painful but it'll be better, I promise. And really just understanding like where some of those stories come in.
Speaker 2:As ma, as a mom and it sounds like you're doing this, the same, with your daughter and gosh, I'm not ready for a 16 year old. My six year old has enough fire in her for I can't. I'm not the version of myself I need to be. But I think that it is our responsibility to teach them that, like you, don't have to be perfect at all ever. And certainly like growing up. For me and I don't know if you echo this experience, but growing up it was like my parents were perfect. They never apologized for anything Right. It was just like they knew it was their way always. And I think teaching like being able to apologize or like, oh, mommy made a mistake, like I did that wrong, I'm really sorry. It's also really beautiful permission for our kids to navigate to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's funny that you say that, because I don't really look too much back on my childhood. I always thought it was good. And then I keep doing inner child work and then realize it was good. And then I was like oh, I'm realizing a lot of things now.
Speaker 1:But it's funny that you kind of show my example, because I went on a road trip with my daughter for the first time Just the two of us. We've done it before with like friends and different things, and I'm bound to mess up, like I'm bound for the wrong way. Like I was set up Like, and I remember we got on this highway and we were singing or dancing, I wasn't paying attention, I just started taking an exit and then the all of a sudden the GPS starts going crazy and I was like, oh, I made a mistake. Whoops, whoopsie, doodles. And it was like, instead of getting mad and being like, oh, I'm sorry, instead of getting mad and being like, oh my God, how is this going to be fixed? Or now we've added 20 minutes, it was like, oh well, we've added 20 minutes, it's not a big deal.
Speaker 1:Yes, I made a mistake. We're in no rush at this point. Thank God we're on vacation, because real life really, like in reality, might have been a little bit different. I would have been a little bit like, oh my God, what was I thinking? But it was like a prime example of just like who cares, like, oh well, made a mistake. I try to remind my daughter that a lot, because she's very much like a personality, like one way only type of thing, and I'm so gray and fluid and I'm messing up all the time. I have the words that come out of my mouth are wrong and I'm just like just go with it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've had to learn that. I've had to learn that. So I'm definitely like the A type, like, again, a lot of it was how I was raised, some of it is who I am inherently and I can still and my no stretch of it right, perfect. I'll get mad at myself for like the littlest things, like the things that don't even matter at all. But then the big things, I'm like it's fine, we'll just pivot, no big deal. But like the little things, like forgetting to sign my kids up for summer camp, like I was so annoyed with myself because first of all, that's the hunger games If you actually try to do that, but it's like I missed camp registration by 30 minutes and I was so frustrated with myself. But you know, the big things, I'm like it's fine. So it's definitely something that's learned and practiced and we all need to practice how we address failure and like there's been a few times I mean like we're talking about this one pivot where I had to start over, but that's not the first there's been a couple of times I was fired early on in my career and I was like, well, don't know what I'm going to do now. And like I've had to learn to be scrappy. I've had a situation where I was when I first left my corporate job, worked for a friend to make it to make a very long story short worked for a friend, didn't have anything contracted, helped her build a seven figure business that fell apart. I left, she tried to sue me and I had nothing Right. And then I bought the gym and then I started over and I had nothing again. And so, like I've done this a few times and so I think you know for me, every time I fail, or every time you know quote, unquote failure, every time something doesn't go the way that I think it's going to go, like I have a lot of evidence that I can turn things around. And I think for some of us, like some of it is like are you willing to just accept it as evidence? Are you going to let us break you? Like, are you, what is the choice you're going to make?
Speaker 2:And for me, the choice every single one of those times was I'm going to figure this out. I'm just going to keep keep walking forward, even if I don't actually know what direction I'm going in. I'm just going to keep walking and I'm going to assume and trust that if I ask the right questions and continue to show up and knock on the right doors, that eventually they'll start to open and it'll work out. But I don't always know the path. I still don't know the path, even though on paper I could tell you about my business and you'd be like, wow, that's really successful. Yeah, it is, but I don't know how I do it. It's going to look like a year from now or five or another three years from now. I think about all the ways it's more often changed over the last three years. No idea, and that's okay and that's exciting actually.
Speaker 1:It is. I'm just going to say that I feel like that's the best part of entrepreneurship. It's like you don't always know. People plan their years and years in advance and I'm like, oh, do you think it's really going to go that way?
Speaker 2:No. When people say I'm going to do my business plan for 2024, I'm like why? Why, that's not? Let's just have a loose plan and then we'll go from there.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's how I am. That's because, gosh, look at me and look at the things that I've done, especially in the last three years. Had a spin studio, sold it, started a social media agency didn't do that anymore. Started the we experienced, started making bread, started helping out other people and none of these things I ever thought was in my three year plan ever.
Speaker 2:But you know, what's so cool about it and this is something that I'm starting to navigate as my daughters in grade one is that we're really raised to do things a certain way. Yeah, and what's so cool about it is to show yourself and for anybody that's listening that maybe is following a path that is the way that they were told to walk. There are so many other paths that you could take and that, I think, for me, is the coolest gift of entrepreneurship. And my daughter just started grade one. She's gone from Montessori school into the public school system and in Montessori it's very child led. They kind of do what they want to do whenever they want to do it. There's some structure, but it's like you want to do this activity Cool.
Speaker 2:And so she's shifting now into public school and at first she was like these teachers are kind of bossy mom, like there's a lot of rules and it's true, like they sit at their desks and they do their jobs, they do their, you know, whatever school is nine to three or three, 30. And then they do that Monday to Friday and it's like sort of like training them in a way to become good corporate soldiers and go to work and do the nine to five, and this is something that I've I haven't fully unpacked I'm in the process of unpacking this in real time, where it's like you know, that was what I was subscribed to too. You know, like I'm the first entrepreneur in my family. Every was like you go to school, you go to university, you get a job, you work for somebody else until you retire and then maybe you get to have some fun in your life, and so what I think has been the greatest gift of both my like every single time I've had to start over, but also the more that I get to meet other entrepreneurs and be in other conversations and just see what people are doing.
Speaker 2:Like how cool, portia, that you get to. Just you've gotten to do all of those things and it's not a failure, it's just been like nope, that wasn't for me. And you get to move on and find what is like. What if we all did that? You know, like what a gift that you're not only showing your daughter, but the people around you, the other women around you. So many women will say to me well, how did you do that? It's like well, I just made the decision to do it.
Speaker 1:Pretty much. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, I agree with everything that you say, because my husband has like a regular corporate ish job and my daughter sees that and how hard he works and how drained he is and how much he comes home and says I hate my job and he's retired in five years. So for him he's just like, okay, I'm just, I see the light, it's there, but I'm, I'm very I always say I'm very privileged to be able to do what I do and frolic around this world and change my mind all the time. But I, I, I hope that it does inspire Lily Like she wants to be a cook or chef and I remind her like you don't have to go to school and then go into a restaurant, like you could go to school and then do one year of school and be like I'm going to go live abroad and you're going to go eat through Europe and then you might stay and go to school there, you might decide you're going to go to school for a year and you might be a personal chef.
Speaker 2:To somebody I said go live in the Hamptons, exactly Like you could decide that you know what.
Speaker 1:I don't want to work for anybody and I'm just going to do digital. Like I'm going to be a content creator and I'm going to show people how to how to be personal chefs in their own home. Like you, have so many avenues, do not think that you have to take the traditional road every single time. Like you can decide if you want this to be what puts food on your table and you know, a roof over your head, and then you can also decide that you love something else and it can be your passion project that provides you trips and different things. Like that.
Speaker 1:Like you don't have to take the traditional route. It doesn't matter to me, it doesn't matter to your father. Do what's best for you, because you live your life and you have to be happy in your life and I'm not going to dictate what path you want to go down, even if you want me to do that for you, I'm not going to. But I'll be here to support you and love you and trust that you're doing what you want to do. And you know I've done both avenues and I like frolicking around and being messy and, you know, doing scary things and stepping into a lot of fear. I enjoy that, but not everybody does.
Speaker 2:No, totally. And I think you know what's important is for anybody that is listening, that's like I actually really love my corporate job. Great, Like I love that for you. I love that for you. I would never love that for me, and I think that's what's so cool is that you can do that right, if you like your nine to five, you like your corporate, you like your consistent paycheck, you want to play in the evenings and on the weekends? Like, yes, do that.
Speaker 2:But I think, as a mom, like hearing you say that with Lily, like I'm, like my inner child is like oh, I wish that I had heard that. You know, like if I had heard that, I wonder where I would be, and not in a bad way. You know, like I'm so grateful for my journey, like I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be as capable as I am in my job as a mentor for other women, if I didn't do that. I didn't go through all of these things, and so I'm grateful for all of it. But for me it's like I just want Hannah, my daughter, and Miles, my son, to know, like if you want to do something different, like that's okay. And if you want to go become a lawyer and work with somebody else and start going like, does that too? You know there are options and I think for me that's the biggest gift that entrepreneurship has given me is like, yes, the freedom, yes, the money, like all that stuff's great, but at the end of the day, like recognizing that you can really do whatever you want with your life and you don't need anyone's permission for it has been really freeing. And I think you know to think about starting over has been one of the reasons why I've been able to is because it was just like, well, what feels fun, you know what would feel good and certainly you know, coming out of closing the gym, closing the gym and starting my business actually did what was easiest and that was sort of the first step for me. It was like, okay, what's gonna be the easiest way for me to make money? And we're starting doing two things.
Speaker 2:Actually. I was doing some like postnatal fitness. I had built a postnatal fitness program at my gym that I was running in person. That was really successful. I actually had people from all over the area come to it Because there wasn't a lot of options, like people from Keswick would come, from Barry would come. I was one of the first to do it. I started doing it in 2017. So shortly after my daughter was born, and so I built this really successful program and I thought that I wanted to take it online and tell people run it online. And I had one on one clients that I was coaching online like recovering.
Speaker 2:But I really did fall out of love with fitness when the gym closed. I think when that like chapter closed, I needed to like I needed to close. As much as I love it for myself Helping other people with their fitness journeys, that that door kind of closed for me energetically. And so then I was like, okay, what's like the next easiest thing for me to do? And it was actually social media, because that's what I had done in my corporate job and so I'd run social media accounts for really big brands and been a part of some really cool projects like Nike, bmw, telus, like big, big brands.
Speaker 2:And I was like, okay, well, part of the reason why I was able to have make my business so successful in my gym was because I understood digital marketing and I understood how to use social media and just had to run ads, and so I just simply started.
Speaker 2:I was like, okay, I'm going to teach other small business owners how to use social media, because that's, I have a three-month-old baby and that feels easy and I don't have to go learn anything like that. Those are just things that I inherently know in my head and so that's where it started. And so it just came out of like this pivot, of like, okay, did I think that would feel like the most fun? Probably not, but I was like I know I could do this and that feels easy. And so that's where it started. And then over the last three years it's sort of like pivoted into what actually feels fun for me. Still a little bit of social media stuff with the agency, of course, but I think that being willing to pivot and being willing to know that I can kind of do whatever and have the willingness to play and to fail and like, if it doesn't work out, no worries, we'll figure something else out I think it's part of the reason why I get to be here and have this conversation.
Speaker 1:I love that. So I have a question for you. Okay, yeah, so what would you say? So you shared your story with us. You know, starting over and everything, and where you were and where you are now. What would you say to anybody that's listening? That is like, okay, this is really speaking to me. I really feel this pull to start over, but don't even know where to start. What would you say to them?
Speaker 2:So for me, it really always starts with, like what is the next step? I think sometimes, when we think about starting over, we go all the way to the end yeah, right. It's like, okay, I'm here where I am, we'll use the example of me. Let's pretend like we use the example of me closing the gym, right, it's like, okay, I need to make, I need to replace this income from the gym. I need to make if I were to. Okay, I need to find a way to make $400,000 a year. Right, it's like you know which was what the gym sales were, so I need to find a way to do that. That feels massive, right, how am I going to go from zero to $400,000? I'm not going to be able to do that, right. And so it's like or I'm going to quit my job to fully replace some income, like, whatever the step, sometimes we just look at the end, destination or what we feel is the end, and that feels really overwhelming. Instead, it's like, okay, what's the first step? The first step might be okay, how do I, you know, if I'm going to start? Let's say we're going to start a new brick and mortar business year.
Speaker 2:She had a conversation with somebody at the we Experience who was a teacher and wants to start her own school. And so we actually had this conversation at the we event and she was like, well, you know, I hate my job as a teacher. A really would like to open my own school. I was like, okay, well, have you looked at spaces in your area? She's like, well, no, okay, well, do you have like any sense of what rent costs? Nope, okay, so like, let's start with that. That feels like. That feels like a safe step, right, just, what's the first step? Okay, if you want to run a school, you need a physical space to run a school. So let's start there, right, and like, what is an easy and obvious step for you to take? And then, great, okay, we've, we've identified that there's a physical space. Maybe that's going to cost $3,000 a month In rent, and then how many students would you need to be to cover those costs and how much money do you need to make?
Speaker 2:And then you start to kind of like build on it, right, and you just take the little steps rather than going I make $100,000 a year as a teacher and then I need to go build a $100,000 profitable business. I need to do it yesterday. Like, no, like, don't focus on that. Like, I get that that's the end destination, but when you're actually trying to navigate this pivot or this starting over place, it's like one foot in front of the other. Don't go sprinting down the runway to something that's not going to be here, probably for another six months, eight months, even a year. Focus on what is the next, easiest step and, because those steps add up and over time, then you will find yourself at the end with the thing that you want it to work towards, but it really does.
Speaker 2:It's like how do you give yourself permission to start small and just take the one step instead of? You know, there's a, there's a meme that I see on the internet sometimes. I used to see it with CrossFit as a crossfit dream owner, but it's like the person at the bottom of the step and they're like trying to step as much, like on a staircase, trying to like step up as many steps in the staircase as they can, and it's like they're skipping. In CrossFit, everybody wants to know how to do a muscle up, which is like on the rings or hanging the rings that they have up on the rings, and it's like somebody starts at the bottom and they're trying to skip, like pulling, strength and flexibility, actual ability to do a ring dip, like kit properly, like all of these things to get to the end. And so I think sometimes it's like no, like it's like, it's just you only have to take one step, not all 50 of them at a time, and that permission for me has helped me so much.
Speaker 1:And I love. I love that analogy because I find I know for myself I've done that especially when I'm curious about other things, like one of the things, like when I started making sourdough and bagels, like people were hounding me when are you opening a bakery, when are you opening a coffee shop, when is there going to be a location? And I'm thinking, whoa, like this is like three months in, like I get you're excited, but like I'm excited. But then I was like out of curiosity, I was like, okay, what do locations look like? What would I want a location to look like? And then it slowly started to create this kind of fun, exciting momentum, like, and hear me out, there's no bakery coming. This is not like. I was like tell me more.
Speaker 2:Are we ever going to announce this?
Speaker 1:We are not doing that, but it created this little exciting momentum. But it also led me to the conclusion that starting a bakery in the next maybe six to nine months isn't something that is on my must do list, yeah. But it also reminded me as, like, okay, just because I'm excited and everybody else is excited doesn't necessarily mean that that I have other things that I would like to start over first before jumping into this. But it gave me that like, okay, I know where I need to start when I get there.
Speaker 2:I love that and I would never, you know, and I said that, never discouraging a person to dream, right, like I'm a very logical, pragmatic person, like to a fault, like I will rationalize the shit out of anything, right, and sometimes to a fault, right. But I do think that it's important to know the end destination, like I would never want you to skip it. It's just when we think about taking action. Sometimes, like going from I make bagels in my house to I'm going to start a bakery is a really big stretch and I love that. You explored that for yourself and I was like that's actually not for me, but if it was for you, right, and you were like and you're a business owner, so it's for you, it's easy because you know the steps, because you've done it before.
Speaker 2:But for someone that's trying to make a pivot, to start over for the very first time, like you would know, okay, I need to explore spaces. Most people wouldn't even know where to look, right, like how do you find what commercial spaces are for rent? It's realtorca. You just go to the commercial section for anyone that's wondering, just typing it into Google. But you know, I think that it is really important to dream and to have that dream and to have these ideas, but I think, when it comes down to like the actual steps, it is what are they? And in small chunks, and I love that you're able to go down that path and decide for you, like, actually, maybe not, maybe not in the next six to nine months, all I can think about. When you talked about opening a bakery, I was like, ooh, those sound like really early mornings, portia, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm not in early morning.
Speaker 2:You want to be a bit worried. I'm making bagels. Is that what you wanted to? No, don't do that.
Speaker 1:No, like I'm like to me, just yeah, I was yeah, that was one reason why.
Speaker 2:As a former gym owner who used to curse. We had a 545 am class and we lived about 25 minutes away from the gym and getting up at 4.54. Like I would cut it to the last possible second and the whole time I would be like that's it. We're closing the gym. Like I'm not a morning person I will never pretend to be and so when you talk about opening a bakery, the only thought that I had was that sounds like for you I'm making bagels. That's a no for me.
Speaker 1:That's a no. For me, that's a no. We're the only bakery that opens at noon. I'm not changing my sleep schedule.
Speaker 2:No, you just need like you need like a bakery that, or like a little shop that will carry your bagels. Maybe start there.
Speaker 1:Yes, well, that's yes, that's where, and that was like one of the avenues that I took. I pitched it to actually another store and that went down a whole other route and I decided I didn't want to do that either. I value my sleep and at this point in my life I'm I'm okay with what I have on my plate and I'll continue to make this as a hobby and build it, and, and you know I'm going to get some bagels.
Speaker 2:At some point I'm going to come over and, yeah, I have small goals in that business even though it's still a hobby, Doesn't mean that it it's not going anywhere.
Speaker 1:It's going to go somewhere, Just not immediately. And we have I have small goals that are associated with it, and and by you know, I don't have to pursue it just because other people feel that I should.
Speaker 2:No, it doesn't, it doesn't have to be a race either you get to do things at your own speed. Yeah, yeah, I think I was actually just having this conversation with somebody. I met, a woman who is a therapist for entrepreneurs, which we had this really beautiful conversation. But the one thing that she was talking about that I thought was really interesting is we were talking about how a lot of business advice is really like masculinized. It's like advice for men, not for women and certainly not for mothers. I mean, that's a big part of why I have a business, the mentorship business that I have around helping entrepreneurial mothers and women. But it's true, right, like, a lot of this advice is very based on like the 24 hour male hormonal cycle, not the 28 day female hormonal cycle, and like it is.
Speaker 2:I think it's beautiful that you're like and I love this for you, I'm like sitting over here, we're like cheering for you, like, yes, I love that you're saying this because it's true. It's like no, actually that's not for me right now. No, that doesn't align for me right now. Like amazing, I'm obsessed with that Because sure, you could and this is for anybody like you could push yourself through that, but will you burn out? Probably probably will Most definitely, most definitely.
Speaker 2:4 AM sounds like a horrible time to wake up every day to make bagels. I'm sure they're delicious, but it can't be. The profit margins in bagels probably are not worth the 4 AM wake up. But I love that and I think like more of us need to take that and I recognize that there's privilege in that conversation right To say like, oh, just do it slow. That's not always the reality for people, but I think if you have the opportunity to do that, take it right. Like why, why do we rush for things? Why do we want things to happen yesterday? Like what if it all just kind of happens at the speed that it's supposed to happen, instead of trying to force it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I'm happy you said that, because I felt like I said that last week I was supposed to do an event for the week for December and I just decided I was like why am I rushing a good thing? Why? Why try to shove this out as fast as possible? You know, I can create the momentum again, like I'm gonna.
Speaker 2:December starts are really hard months. I'm thinking why People have plans. I literally have things that like every and I'm not a person that makes a ton of plans and it's like December and I think I have something every weekend already.
Speaker 1:So yeah, it's like why rush it? I want to, I want to really encompass that, I want to understand it fully in a way. But yeah, I'm not going to. I'm just going to feel frazzled and I'm going to do it and be like, uh, I'm not doing that again.
Speaker 2:No, that's that's. That's good for no one, because then you hate, start to dislike the work and then, yeah, you don't have the container anymore and it's a powerful one. So please don't do that.
Speaker 1:No, and I'm a Scorpio, so like I'm like, if I don't love something, I'm we'll see it later Like that's why there's a lot of ends and starts over, because that's just like that. That's just the cycle of who I am always, always transforming, burning down and becoming a Phoenix. That's me.
Speaker 2:Love that. I love that I'm a Capricorn, which is why I'm so pragmatic. We can't help it. We just put our heads down and go yeah exactly.
Speaker 1:So my last question for you and I always end every podcast this way is what is one piece of advice that you would like to leave here with everybody? Doesn't have to be about what we talked about, can you do anything.
Speaker 2:I think the big thing that's coming through for me right now is like you don't need anyone's permission to do what you want with your life. And I think that you know we've talked about a lot of things. We talked about like in our child, we talked about corporate, we talked about like the training that we go through, and I think a lot of us certainly I did, and I want to generalize but I was prescribed to a certain life path pretty young and looked for, you know, my parents permission, like is this okay? You know, and even sometimes with my partner, it's like my husband is like I'm thinking about doing this and like I don't actually need his permission. I just need to support, right. And so I think you can create whatever it is that you want, and it may feel crazy for people, and that's okay. If some people think you're crazy, that's okay. Let them think that Be crazy.
Speaker 2:And I think that for me, has been something that I've really had to. Even just this year, you know, 2023 has been a big year of really coming home to myself and coming home to what's true for me and shedding other people's expectations and the expectations that have been put on me. By I mean everything right Society and social media and movies and media, like all the things the patriarchy, which is like a whole other podcast episode. But I do like you don't need anyone else's permission. If there's something that's on your heart you want to start over, you want to change, do it. You only get to do this once.
Speaker 2:You know people always say like, oh, life is short, I mean it's the longest thing you're ever going to actually know. But like it is, but it's the longest thing you'll know. So, like, none of us know when our clock is going to run out, though, and so if you're waiting for someone's permission, please stop, or just like, take this podcast episode as your permission. But I do think a lot of you know a lot of work that I do as a mentor is actually just writing permission slips. It's like telling people yeah, you can do that, but like, inherently inherently, none of us actually need you, don't need my permission, you don't need Portia's permission, you don't need anyone's permission. Like, if there's something that is on your heart, do it, even if it's small steps. Right, you don't have to go all the way to the end tomorrow, but like, start taking steps in that direction, explore what's possible, because it is possible for you. You just have to be willing to make the choice.
Speaker 1:I love that I haven't taken that with me. I'm glad I'm going to take it with me.
Speaker 2:Sometimes I say these things and I'm like, oh, that was for me mostly, yeah, but it's true. It's true, it's true. I have been forced into boxes for a lot of my life. You know, when I look back on, I grew up in what was expected, like a lot of us are right, like this is the box that you're supposed to be in and stay here. And I always used to joke that I like colored her outside of the lines and as a kid I was often told I was too much and like do last be last, take up last space, don't be so loud, stop bothering people.
Speaker 2:Like you know, and now I'm like no, it took me 36 years to to accept that. That's okay, but like, it's fine. And so I think for me, like I'm done, I'm done with the boxes, say goodbye and it's, and if people want to come with me, that's great. But like if you're in a box right now, you feel like you're in a box, just you're the only one that's going to get yourself out of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's so true, my mom said at the first, she introduced me at the first event and she's like Porsches, always walked the beat of her own path and or whatever. And I was like pretty much like my parents just had to surrender to the fact that I was not going to be doing anything traditionally. I went to college to appease them and ended up getting pregnant, so nothing went the right way. But but even after that, never walked like. My mom was like, oh, I have a friend, a marketing person, and because my mom worked in corporate for years, yeah, and my dad works in corporate, my brother's not my younger brother, but my older brother did and and it would. That was just the path that they needed to go, like you must go down. And I was like, yeah, sure, I'll appease and I'll do it and whatever. But they never worked out because it was never what I was supposed to do and and I was always that person that no one got it.
Speaker 1:I don't get it. Don't get what you're doing. You're being a yoga teacher. Why? You're doing Student in your house? Why? I don't get it. What are you doing that for? You're doing social media? I don't get it. You're doing women's events? I don't get it and I'm like good, don't get it.
Speaker 2:I get it.
Speaker 1:And that's all that matters, and I will find people that will get it. I love that.
Speaker 2:And I wish that I had that attitude sooner. I subscribed, I subscribed, I checked the boxes, I did what I was supposed to do until it got to the point where it was just wildly uncomfortable. I did. I did what I was told I was supposed to do. I did it for 25 years and I was 26 when I left corporate. So it's been it'll be 10 years in 2024. And I never looked back. But gosh, you know, I could have seen myself a lot of pain the first 25 years of my life if I had just been like you. They're like no, I'm good, but no, I subscribed, I bought in, I bought in fully and I don't anymore. I thank goodness for that. But I think like to that point, even if you're 36, 45, listen to this right now and you subscribe to 50, 60, like you get the best, you get the best. You get to rewrite it, change whenever you like to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, tell my husband that every time I said the moment you retire, you get to rewrite everything. So decide what you want to do. And decide what you want to do, not what you think you should be doing or who you need to provide for or anything else Like what do you want to do? That's going to make you happy every single day. Because you gave me that privilege, it's my turn to give that back to you. So cool and so, anyways, we could keep talking all night long.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we could.
Speaker 1:So thank you again, laura, for joining me and sharing your story and opening up, and I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2:Thanks so much for having me. This was awesome, this was so great, all right.
